Well, I made it through one week of this thyroid diet I’ve put myself on – and by one week, I mean one work week. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow night at the Cape, one of my favorite places in the world, and I’ll be damned if I can’t have a bite of wedding cake, and ice cream from Sundae School the next day. I have to say, today I’m in a bit of a downer mood.
The issue is not that I’m not pregnant yet; it’s only been a few months. The issue is that I’m an otherwise-healthy almost 27-year old, and I’ve been told I can’t try to conceive a child for the foreseeable future. That, and to hopefully hurry the possibly years-long process along, I’m putting myself through a food change. Now, I’m not eating crazy things. Salads and lean meats – isn’t that what everyone’s supposed to eat? But I’m really trying to stay away from sugar (Stevia is a miracle), and limit myself to one helping of carbs a day, or every other day. Today, we had Bulgar wheat with our dinner, and two days ago, I had a half a piece of whole wheat bread (my husband made), with cashew butter and a little cinnamon. Monday, I had steel-cut oats for breakfast. Other than that, the rest of all my meals have consisted of protein, vegetables, and dairy. What have I got to show for it after 5 days? A drop of about 1 1/2 pounds (mostly water weight, I’m assuming) and a digestive system in shock. So far, every day I’ve felt like I can do this, and tonight I’m feeling like I shouldn’t have to.
Last October, my husband and I ran our first marathon. We both did horrible, but finished. We vowed to someday do it again, the right way, and improve our times and confidence. This October, I was hoping to be pregnant. Therefore, I’ve been taking a leave of absence from distance running, and just hitting the gym instead for the past few months. I figured I’d celebrate my first child by running the marathon again. Tonight, my husband suggested that we now sign up for the race this October, and the thought of it bothered me. I’m being completely selfish, I realize. My immediate thought was, “No, I’m not training for this marathon.” By signing up, training for it, and running it, I’d be basically admitting to myself that Plan A didn’t, couldn’t, happen. This Plan B would be way crappier. By not signing up, training for it, and running it, while my husband does (he has every right), and watching him that day, I’d be reminding myself that I hadn’t moved on from the last marathon, hadn’t improved my time, hadn’t proved something to myself, and was waiting around for something that could be a long time in the making – literally. Blah.
I imagine the advice I’ll get is to run it. I might feel great after. But there are 2 things to consider: 1) With all the stars in alignment and a miracle thrown my way, I might get pregnant before then. 2) Training for a marathon is no little task. I wish I could wait until that day and just run it, but I can’t. I’d have to start now, with long runs in the hot, summer sun. Every run would be that reminder of my Plan B.
So, it was left that I’ll attempt to train with my husband, and when it gets a little closer, I can make my final decision…I’ll keep you posted.
As a side note – I just wanted to thank those of you who read this, both those of you I know and those I don’t. Sometimes I just put it all out there, more as a venting device, and then I remember that I have readers. 🙂 By the way, if you do read my blog, but haven’t signed up to it yet, go to the top right-hand corner of the page and put in your email. You’ll be an official “subscriber”!