It’s Basically Torture…

I’m going to split up my thoughts into two posts again today. Even though they are linked, of course, it makes it easier for me to talk it out, and probably easier to read. I guess I’ll start with the fertility (or lack there of) end of things.

Today is Day 58 in my cycle. Absolutely ridiculous. Since going off the pill in April, I have had 3 (yes, only 3) cycles of 41 days each. That, in itself, was long enough! But they were like clockwork. I’m not sure if I ovulated in the first two, as I wasn’t charting, but I did in the third one, because I had a positive OPK and a temperature shift (though only 9 days long for my LP…but one thing at a time). Then, on August 19th, I started this 4th cycle. 58 days later, and nothing. The obvious question is, could I be pregnant? But by taking one look at my chart, the answer is no. I’d like to put in a little plug here and say that charting is the best thing I have ever done in the process of TTC. Once you really know how to do it, and can read your body well, you never have to go on birth control again. You never have to second guess things.Well, mostly.

I’ve been charting my temps and CF the entire time, and there was never a temperature shift like there should be. Even last weekend, when on Day 53 I had the CF for ovulation, I got negatives on the OPK and no temp shift. So, as I said a while back, I think this is an anovulatory cycle – no ovulation. That’s frustrating enough, but when you don’t ovulate, you sometimes also don’t get a period! If you do, it’s not a true period, just the shedding of the lining of your uterus (pleasant!). But many people don’t even have that, make it impossible to start a new cycle! So, Day 58, and this is now being called “amenorhhea” – no period. But mentally, this part is draining. I just want to get it already, so I can start the cycle over again and pretend like I have a shot in the next round! It’s basically torture.

Of course, my new obsession with research on this topic and my other go-to topic, my thyroid problems, have led me to numerous articles and books. “Living Well With Hypothyroidism”, by Mary Shomon, and “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”, by Toni Weschler both told me that having hypothyroidism, or autoimmune Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (that’s me) can cause irregular cycles, long cycles, anovulatory cycles, short LPs…etc. So, I blame the thyroid. Again.

I go to see my new endocrinologist at the end of the month, and I’ve never been so anxious to get to a doctor’s appointment. I just want her input, and I’m hoping she’ll be my saving grace. I know I want a higher dose of Synthroid, because I want to target my TSH betwen 0 and 1. But I have other questions. What about my hives, that are back in full force? What about possible vitamin deficiencies? What about Hashimoto’s in combination with Celiac’s, or at least gluten intolerance? What about my ATA’s?

If you have an auto-immune thyroid disease, like I do, then it’s likely you have high anti-thyroid antibodies (ATA’s). If you have regular hypothyroidism, you probably don’t have them. The ATA’s are not the problem, they are the signal. A high count of them tell you that your body is attacking your thyroid in large numbers, when they shouldn’t be, creating this condition. Well, I think people always overlook this. When I first got my thyroid tested like 4 years ago, my allergist told me my ATA’s were “off the charts”, and “the highest he had ever seen”. My number was 900. Normal is less than 9. And, as I asked my allergist last week when I saw him, they haven’t changed. Even if my TSH is “normal”, my ATA’s are literally off the charts. I believe that they are probably a big cause of my hives (in combo with food issues). But they aren’t really treatable, because the aren’t the problem. If the number stays high, you know the problem still exists, basically. If the number drops, it’s being taken care of. I don’t know too much about it, but I want to ask my new endo. Because in the books I read, they both said a high antibody count DOUBLES the risk of miscarriage. Which is fantastic. It all tells me how badly I want these problems to be corrected, and I’m basically at all of my doctors’ mercy. Two more weeks until that appointment. I also need to call my OBGYN, just to keep her in the loop. I’ll ask if she might want to run some tests concerning my progesterone levels, or to check if I did ovulate or not. But I have a feeling she is going to say no, that she wants my thyroid where it needs to be to see if that fixes the problem first. So much waiting!

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2 thoughts on “It’s Basically Torture…

  1. futuresoccermom says:

    Hey Krista! No…not as of yet. I suppose I probably need to, but I know what the answer will be. And I’m just putting it off because it’s disappointing – not the way I envisioned myself using one for the first time! But you’re right – I probably need to do that!

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