Hope for Clomid

So this thought has been spinning around in my head for a few days, and that’s how I know it’s time to share.

I am, of course, excited to be starting Clomid soon. Really, really excited. I’ve also been easily over-sharing the details of my infertility to people outside of the online blogging world, in real life. This hasn’t always been the best decision. I’ve just been in my own little world, anxiously waiting for my first treatment to my anovulation.

Recently, after declaring out loud, “I can’t wait [for Clomid]! I’m so excited – I just want to do this already!” someone said in response, “Well, you’re happy to start the process, you mean. It’s probably not going to be that easy.”

I’ve actually had a few people say something like this to me – so it’s not just this one. The person who said this particular comment to me did not mean this to sound – pessimistic. She’s actually been very supportive, as she had gone through similar experiences a few years ago, which has, at this time, not had a happy ending. I know she wasn’t trying to be negative; she was trying to be realistic and to help me keep an even head. I believe now that she was probably talking more to herself than to me.

Here’s the thing: After blogging (seemingly endlessly) about waiting, and patience, and being full of unanswered questions, I finally have an answer: anovulation, and a treatment: Clomid. I realize that it is my very first treatment to this problem. I also realize that of course, there’s probably a pretty decent chance that it won’t work, and I’ll have to move my treatments to the next level, IUI. Who knows, that might not work and I’ll be moving to IVF. I know all this.

If I don’t have hope that Clomid is going to work (and maybe naively, I do), then how could I possibly go through this process and keep my sanity intact? I’m not saying that if this doesn’t work I’ll be completely surprised, but I have to hope it will. And I do. In fact, I hope it works in the first very round. Doubtful? Yes. But I’m going to hope for it anyway.

I guess what I’m saying is this: in my opinion, if you’re going through fertility treatments, you have to be positive. If you aren’t, and you’re reminding yourself constantly that this probably won’t work, we’ll have to try something else – well then, you’ll drive yourself crazy. I am telling myself that Clomid is going to help me get pregnant so that I can have something to hope for while on Clomid. Otherwise, what would be the point?

To all of my new blogging friends who are at any step in the fertility treatments process, how did you handle comments like this? Did you keep positive thoughts through each type of treatment?

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8 thoughts on “Hope for Clomid

  1. thebarrenyears says:

    My opinion is that you have to enter each treatment with hope and belief that it will work, if you don’t then why put yourself through it? (and spend all that money!?)

    It’s tough to keep being hopeful but once the hope has gone you’re kindof left with nothing.

    So good luck and fingers crossed clomid works for you x

    • futuresoccermom says:

      I hear you – I understand that, for people who have been doing through treatments for a long time, it is very hard to continue being hopeful and optimistic every day. I completely understand why that would be, and I don’t blame those people at all. If that happens to me, I am sure I will feel the exact same way. But at the beginning of the journey, I just feel like it’s important to start off with some hope, and some promise, that things will work out. I know how hard it will be later on. Thank you so much for your comment!

  2. Bear says:

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and taking the time to leave a comment.

    If we don’t have hope, what do we have? I understand how devastating it is to get your hopes up, and have those hopes dashed. However, with infertility there are no guarantees, and all we can do is hope that each treatment, each doctor’s visit, each DAY brings us one step closer to the baby(ies) our hearts so desperately desire.

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Bear – I completely agree! I do understand how hard it is to keep the hope going – and I’m not saying every day will be perfectly filled with optimism; that’s just not realistic. But if we go around assuming things will never work, then it doesn’t seem worth it to be doing it in the first place. Thank you for your comment!

  3. Shannon says:

    There is a lot of research out there that supports that a positive attitude/outlook on all things in the health realm will help for a better outcome. And isn’t that what helps us get to that point anyway….hope? I HOPE that you continue to HOPE that things will work out, whether it be with Clomind, IUI, or IVF……because IT WILL! xoxo

  4. Izzy says:

    Hope is such a fickle thing these days. It’s funny to me how my hope is completely dependant on the place I am in my cycle. From the day my period starts and basically for the first 2 weeks of my cycle, the hope is basically dead. I feel defeated. As I near CD14 the hope begins to rise and I’m excited by the chance to try again. Then the 2WW is always full of hope, no matter what i do it’s there. It’s so sneaky that way. I do think it’s incredibly important to keep this hope going, even when we know it may hurt later. I know that my baby needs me to hold onto that hope, so I do 🙂

    I don’t typically run into people with pessimistic comments. Usually I’m the one sharing my struggle and they’re full of hopeful and anecdotal comments. I could go for some pessimism actually… I think it would cause me to fight back just like you’re do so in this post. I always like a challenge!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you Izzy! You brought up some really great points. For one thing, I agree that it depends on where I am in the cycle. However, interestingly enough, the majority of my optimism comes at the beginning first 2 weeks of the cycle, and then after “ovulation” (or what should have been) I feel hopeless. Basically, at the beginning I think, I’m at the beginning of a new cycle, time to try again, this might actually work. With hope. After I was supposed to ovulate, and I realize I am not going to, and now have to wait until some certain day when I’m allowed to start Provera, I am so grumpy. Those last two weeks are pointless to me, just get me from beginning to ovulation. That’s so funny how we interpret them differently – yet I agree that the whole cycle is not full of optimism, just part of it.

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