(Manic) Monday Mind Dump

Happy Monday, everyone. I know how much you look forward to this day each week; I know I do. Ugh.

Today is a Manic Monday. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. My thoughts are just kind of all over the place.

My father was released from the hospital Saturday night. When I went to see him Saturday afternoon, he was 90% better, eating and moving around the room, being hyper. Apparently he went down to the lobby the night before and played the piano for the nurses. Typical. But his memory was still not perfect. He was remembering things that never happened. Either way, he was talking completely fine, unlike two days prior to that when he could barely say my name or purse his lips to give me a kiss. I am more than relieved he is home, and that this nightmare is hopefully behind us. I don’t think he realizes how scary this was, and how close to death he could have been.

He took so long to wake up properly from anesthesia due to 3 possible factors: He never went under anesthesia before, his medications were stopped cold turkey prior to surgery and he continued without them for a few days after, and one doctor thinks some of the septic toxic garbage from his gallbladder entered his bloodstream and traveled to his brain.

Either way, we will never know exactly what happened, but it took him a week and a half to fully emerge. I’m just grateful my stress levels can now return to normal.

I basically forgot about Clomid and this double-cycle. Now that the stress is over, my brain has gone back to its old ways, mostly. It’s CD 12 (I just started over, counting-wise), and I have no idea when I’m going to ovulate. And it’s kind of freaking me out.

Even though I have done all this before, this cycle I’m kind of worrying about it. What if I don’t have EWCM? What if my OPK’s never turn positive? What if I drink too much water before my evening pee and it shows negative when it’s really positive? These things happen to people, you know. And here’s a big one – what if I don’t ovulate at all, like last time, and this whole thing is for nothing?

I had read somewhere that Clomid needed to be taken every day at the same time. On the last day, I took it an hour later. Is this okay?

These questions seem silly, but they leave me feeling anxious. If I ovulated every month, like normal people, this wouldn’t be an issue (well, none of this would be an issue). I would have the same signs every month, and I’d know that the day was coming. But now, I don’t know my signs. Now that I’ve switched to the cheaper OPK’s, it’s even a little harder. This morning that second line was….pretty dark, close to the control line. But not exactly the same. Does the second line get darker as I get closer to ovulating? Am I getting close?

A few days ago, I was feeling pretty negative about this. My body is so messed up, with all the autoimmune crap. I might not ovulate on this dosage either, and then there’s only one more dosage left before Clomid is thrown out the window. Then what?! I really, really wanted Clomid to work. However, last night I did some googling (I know, I know) and it actually made me feel better! There are many people who did not ovulate on 50 mg, but did on 100. Granted, I did ovulate on 50 once, but then I didn’t, so I’m not sure which boat I fit into on that one. But you know what? I just might ovulate this cycle, on this third round of Clomid. I just might.

Yeah, I think I probably will. So you can understand, then, why I’m obsessed with making sure I don’t miss it! Not sure if I want to enter into trying every single day for two weeks straight though.

So that’s it. That’s my brain today. Oh, and My Fitness Pal, the app on my phone that tracks my calories, has also occupied some brain space. I know a lot of you love it out there. I.hate.it. I really do. You know why? Because I had a salad today, and do you know how long it takes to enter in every single vegetable in my salad, plus how much of it I ate? But I will continue using it, because it works. It really, really does. I better have some weight loss in the next few weeks, that’s all I have to say.

And now, I’m off to the gym. You know why? Because I ran out of calories on MFP, and the more I exercise, the more calories I get to eat. Off I go.



13 thoughts on “(Manic) Monday Mind Dump

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Well, I don’t think so! I saw it on someone’s blog somewhere and I started to panic myself! But I’m not going to worry about it. Good luck to you as well, and thanks for the comment 🙂

  1. K.Smitty says:

    1. So glad your dad was released. That’s awesome.
    2. Your OPK sounds promising! I bet if u wait 4 more hours and take another one it just might be positive! You temp, right? Hopefully you get a spike soon! Even so, I say count your almost-dark line as a good sign and get to it just in case!
    3. I feel your pain on logging salads. I don’t use MFP but have used some others. See if u can save it as a meal, but maybe just the basics, without dressing or anything else you may potentially change and just use that as a baseline salad. What I’ve also done is just searched “mixed salad” or something like that and even if it’s not *exactly* what you ate down to every portion of every veggie, you may be able to find a generic salad for 40 or 50 calories or so, then add any cheese, crutons, or dressing you do special. That’s what worked for me. Good luck this month!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you!! As for the OPK – I wish you were right! But I did do it this afternoon and didn’t have nearly the same dark result. I hate these damn OPK’s. We’ll practice anyway. As for the salads – you have a point. I could just log a mixed salad or something, and add dressing. I still hate MFP. Wow, I hate everything tonight. Thanks very much!!

  2. Jenn says:

    So glad to hear your dad is being released from the hospital. Good news!!

    I just started my first round of 50mg Clomid so I am completely new to this. You really have to take it at the same time each day? I was about an hour late on Saturday…Are you having any side effects? I’ve had a headache for over 48 hours that I am pretty sure is related to the Clomid.

    Guess we’re in the same boat this month. Good luck!!!!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you! Oh yes, welcome to Clomid. I do not think you have to take it every day at the exact same time, so don’t worry too much. I would aim for the same time – ish, but if it’s an hour or two difference I don’t think it matters. I usually take it around 4 pm, but the last pill was more like 6. As for side effects – I have been very lucky (and this is round 3) and my only real side effect is hot flashes. They are very short, but occur often, and I just feel really flushed and hot. I’m sure your headache is related. Some people have awful side effects on this drug, but luckily I do not. I did ovulate on my first round of 50, then on my second round of 50, I did not, which is why I am now on my third round at 100mg! Stupid infertility. Sounds like we are in the same boat – good luck to you!!

  3. Katie says:

    So glad your dad is doing better!

    MFP is annoying in that respect, but since I’m a creature of food habit, I just build a recipe the first time and then it’s done! And knowing you get to eat any calories you burn is a great motivator to work out, isn’t it? 🙂

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you!! Yes, I agree with you, and I usually eat the same foods as well. That’s a good idea, to build the meals so they are saved. I really should do that. What I hate is when there is a recipe that is complicated – like this oatmeal/peanut butter bar thing that I made, and I eat a piece of it each day for breakfast. I have no idea of the calories! Oh well. And yes – the working out helps, for sure!

  4. Not-So-Fertile Girl says:

    Great news about your dad! 🙂 I don’t think your ovulation-related questions seem silly! With the exception of the taking Clomid at the same time everyday (I haven’t gotten Clomid yet…grrr.), I worry about the same list of things when I’m trying to pinpoint ovulation. I have switched to the digital OPK’s, but I used to use the ones that you have to compare the lines. Mine always seemed to get gradually darker as I neared ovulation until one day they matched up. I always did mine in the morning to avoid the liquid-intake problem. Although, I just read somewhere that you should take them midday – so who knows!? Good luck!!!!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you! I’m glad there are others out there who worry about the same things! I love the digital OPK’s, and I always had those, but month after month, using the 20 pack, not the 7 because I had no idea when I was ovulating, it got really expensive! But it sounds like you had success using the line OPK’s in the morning? You got a positive result on those cheap ones with a morning test? My afternoon results are always way worse than my mornings. Who knows. Thanks for the comment! 🙂

      • Not-So-Fertile Girl says:

        I know what you mean – those digital ones are really expensive. We went to them b/c when we did our Flexible Benefits card, I was pregnant, so we put on the maximum amount of money. When we lost the baby, it was too late to change the amount going onto the card. Without all of the hospital bills, etc. to use the money on, we had to spend it b/c we lose whatever is left on it at the end of the year. So, we went to the digital ones for the time being. I always test first thing in the morning, and used to get positive results with the cheaper ones. Although, take that with a grain of salt, b/c I have PCOS with causes false positives sometimes!

  5. Emily @ablanket2keep says:

    So glad your dad is getting released! I just started with MFP and my favorite part is I can just scan the bar code of anything I eat. Even milk! Fruits and veggies and meats I just put in and save it so if I use it again. I am still getting into it, I only tried it one day so far.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s