If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Welp, Mother’s Day kicked my ass.

See, the ironic thing about it is – I was prepared to have a perfectly nice day! I wasn’t upset – I feel too far away from a mom to be upset, plus, I’ve already been upset all weekend because of this failed cycle and getting my period…so there probably wasn’t too much farther down I could go. So I was good – we planned a dinner for my mother (which N cooked, of course), and we had a lunch out with N’s family as well. Really, it could have been a happy-go-lucky day.

Unfortunately, someone’s insensitivity kind of ruined the go-with-the-flow mood I woke up with. The title of this post is a phrase I have heard over and over again since elementary school. Apparently this person was absent on those school days.

This man I’m about to talk about is a family friend of N’s aunt. We see him on holidays; up until the last two times I’ve seen him, he’s been really quite nice. He’s a nice guy, is what I’m saying. I’ve got nothing against him.

Now, this is the man who, on Easter, as I was snuggling one of my dogs, said out loud in front of N’s family, “See? You don’t need kids – you have dogs!” That was irritating enough, especially because he knows my situation. I didn’t tell him, but I know that he knows.

Yesterday, as he and his gf arrive at the restaurant, he gives me a hug and says loudly, “Do I need to be wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day, too?” I couldn’t believe it. He laughed, really loudly, as I said, “No! And if you do, I might cry, so please don’t.” You’d think me saying that would give the hint not to ask me about it. Not only that, but what if I was pregnant? Did he think I’d choose that moment, in a “hello” embrace to announce to my in-laws that I was pregnant? Just because he asked?

So I was kind of miffed throughout the lunch, even making a comment to my MIL about how that was a tad bit insensitive, of which she agreed. But I moved on and enjoyed the meal. At the end, as he was leaving, he said goodbye to our whole big table. He offered up a, and I quote, “Happy Mother’s Day – and you Megan, well, Happy Mother’s Day…soon? Hopefully in the future? Sometime? Not for a while? Hopefully soon…” And as he’s going on this rant, in front of everyone, I just kind of looked up at the ceiling and I recall saying something like, “I have no words….” And I didn’t. I was almost speechless, kind of in shock. I just did not know how to respond. After the comment he made when he walked in, and the one on Easter…I’m not sure I want to be around this guy anymore until I actually have a good announcement to make. Yuck. It did kind of dampen my spirits, I have to admit. I just wanted to forget about my own problems and focus on my mother and MIL. But he, so kindly, had to bring my lack of a pregnancy back to life.

Okay, this isn’t the only reason I posted. I also have news, for what very little news it is, but hey, something to talk about.

My nurse called today. I’m supposed to start Clomid tomorrow. It went something like this:

“Megan? I spoke with the doctor. He says you didn’t ovulate on 100 mg (yes I did, just in a stair-step, not on its own), so he would like you to start up with the 150 mg, like you just ovulated with.”

“Okay, well…what happens when I have to stair-step? I was hoping not to have to go up to 200 mg.”

“You won’t have to stair-step.”

“I’m sure I will, I always have to. The first round isn’t going to work.”

“It IS going to work. It’s going to work, okay?”

“Oh…okay then. Thanks.”

I was at a Starbucks and couldn’t think of exactly what to say to her at that moment, but my question is: did she say I wouldn’t have to stair-step, and that I’d have a normal length cycle this time because…..science told her so? Or because she’s being optimistic and therefore wouldn’t address my question? Because I’m all about science…but I’m supposed to have the hope. Not my nurse..she needs to have the meds.

So, with that said, I’m starting Clomid, Round 8,071 – I mean 4 (6 counting the times I didn’t ovulate) tomorrow, as CD 5, heading towards IUI #2. Yippee. Looking forward to hot flashes and mood swings, usually swinging more down than up. We’ll see, 55 days from now, how long this cycle turns out to be.



10 thoughts on “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

  1. danielletoendure says:

    That is so frustrating! I am amazed at your self control in that situation. I’m not sure I would have been able to handle it as graciously. Hope this round of clomid goes well!

  2. Peg says:

    Wow what an insensitive ass! I know people don’t think sometimes but you specifically asked him not to say it and then he goes on and on about it? Jerk! I’m sorry you had to deal with it. I hope the next round of clomid goes ok! Lots of baby dust!

  3. thefamilyvan says:

    That guy sounds like a real dink. I’m sorry you had to sit through a lunch with him. You held it together better than I would have!

    Good luck with the clomid! Exciting that you’re moving into IUI round 2!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Wow. That dude is a complete and total jerk. I think I would’ve lost my marbles. I hope he’s uninvited from any future engagements.

    Wishing you heaps of luck with Round 4 of Clomid!

  5. Amanda (http://readingeachpage.blogspot.com/) says:

    Wow, that guy is a total douche. I hope you can stay away from him for the near future, at least.

    I just did my first round of clomid and had to stair-step as well, but my doctor did an ultrasound 3 days after the clomid ended and then started round 2 right away. Still a longer cycle (I’m hoping 9 months long…), but not as long as you’ve been having. Maybe bring it up with your dr? Mine is apparently well-known in the ob-gyn field and I can send you his info if you’d like:-) *~*baby dust*~*

    • futuresoccermom says:

      I have to thank you for this comment. You’re the first person that I “know” (haha) that has stair-stepped. And as soon as I read that you went in 3 days after the last pill so you could start Round 2 right away, I called my nurse. I can’t believe I never even thought to ask if I could do that. So I basically demanded to go in on CD 12 to see how things are going, saving me two extra weeks in this cycle. So thank you very much for the saving grace.

  6. Not-So-Fertile Girl says:

    “I have no words” is the only way to sum that incident up. I won’t even call it a situation. That is ridiculous! I’m glad you had the self-control to keep the meal nice for your family’s sake.I don’t think I could have done it. I think it’s time that someone if your family tactfully tell him what an asshole he’s being and tell him how hurtful it is to you! Good luck with the round of Clomid!

  7. Sunny says:

    Grrrr!! That dude makes me so freaking ANGRY! And the response your nurse gave about the Clomid was also frustrating. I feel like a lot of the medical professionals give us “standard” answers that are in no way tailored to our medical track record. My doc has actually told me, “Well, I just saw two other women who are much older than you get pregnant on Clomid…so it will work for you.” Ummm. No? That’s NOT how pregnancy works, doc. I understand your nurse wants to be positive, but what really gets under my skin is a doctor or nurse who says things without any real explanation as to WHY it would work, or WHY it would work for our specific cases. Grrrr!

  8. Emily says:

    Wow! I would have given that guy a piece of my mind. I have family friends who would be just like that. Thank goodness they don’t know our situation. I wish the nurse wouldn’t say that or at least say something like “I have hope it will work” instead of just saying it’s going to work.

    Well I have hope that it will work this time. I know how horrible clomid is and can only imagine how heightened on a higher dose and for longer. Crossing everything and praying this is the last one you have to do!

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