Back with a minor update on things, and a few questions.
First of all, I want to say that though I haven’t been blogging much lately, I have been reading everyone’s posts and keeping up with your journeys. Lots of you are in the process of having babies, which is very exciting. Those of you who have gone through IVF, I’ll be coming to you with questions soon!
Okay, so I’m having this stomach problem. Let me back up. Last Thursday, my husband made a meal for myself and a good friend who came to dinner. He threw some chicken and rice into the crockpot with some cream of mushroom soup. Right as she was arriving, I realized I ought to check the soup container for wheat, as she has Celiac’s and I’ve been avoiding gluten as well. It turned out, as the can told me, there was wheat in the soup. Thank goodness I didn’t serve it to her, as I would’ve felt horrible beyond belief for making her sick, not to mention she’s a few weeks from giving birth! Oh man. Phew. So we had sandwiches and all was well. That night, when my husband came home, he sat down to a plate of his meal, and I don’t know what I was thinking, but I had a small plate of it myself, knowing there was wheat in the soup. Well, I do know what I was thinking. Every once in a while I think to myself, maybe gluten isn’t a problem and it’s just my weird autoimmune issues that flare up. How much wheat could there possibly be in this stupid soup anyway? So I ate it.
The next day, around 7:30 in the morning, I started having horrible cramping in my stomach. I went to school like that, had to teach for the first few hours doubled over and speaking quietly with shallow breaths. It hurt so freaking bad. I didn’t have to run to the bathroom though – just horrible pains. It took me a while to figure out what the hell was going on and then it dawned on me – it had to be the soup. It had to be the gluten. Finally, with the help of tea and gluten free pretzels, the pains subsided and I went on with my day. The rest of the day they came and went, but not as bad as the morning. Then yesterday, the pains continued. I didn’t eat any wheat at all (almost bought kettle corn at a fair, but was told it has gluten…so sad.) but I did have dairy in the form of ice cream, which…dairy does bother me in large doses. But it’s usually a little upset stomach and then it’s gone. This dairy seemed to bring back my stomach problems from the day before, and I was in and out of the bathroom all day. This morning it’s the same. I am having stomach pains, specifically on my left side, very low, practically in my uterus. It’s very low. And it seems to be localized. Every single time I eat, no matter what it is, I immediately feel pain there right after, and usually have a bathroom run. Then it’s dull pain until the next time I eat.
So. I have to assume this is the wheat talking, with yesterday’s dairy not helping out much. Last July, the day of my IUI and my husband’s big race, this same thing happened and it lasted for days. I thought I had a bug. Now I’m wondering if I accidentally ate gluten and didn’t know it.
I get a little paranoid sometimes, so here are my current fears:
1) I’ve damaged my stomach or intestinal lining in a big way, and like I’ve read, this gluten is going to stay in my system for 6 months and ruin my autoimmune system, which I’ve worked hard to keep balanced.
2) It’s going to affect my getting pregnant from IVF, since my antibodies are probably sky-high.
3) I’ve made myself sicker, and given myself like diverticulitis or something. Like, what’s going on in my intestine?
I’m just worried about it. And frustrated. I don’t know why I was playing around with gluten, but I tested negative for Celiac’s. I thought it just bothered my stomach a little. It’s not like I go out and eat fresh French bread, though I really want to. I just swear, if this impacts my antibody count which impacts IVF, I will kill. And why isn’t kettle corn gluten free?? Also, my stomach hurts.
So now I am determined to be 100% gluten free in everything I eat. Which means I better start looking at sauce labels and things like that. I never did that before. And here’s where you guys come in: I am looking for a new breakfast. Specifically some sort of shake I can take with me to school. Up until today, I have been having a protein shake with Syntha-6 chocolate powder, almond milk, frozen blueberries and a banana, and it was delish. And I just read the back of the Syntha-6 bottle. I can’t actually find the gluten ingredient, because there are about 5,000 chemicals in that crap, but it says, contains wheat. And to think, while “going gluten free” the last…oh, year of my life, I’ve still had this protein shake 5 days a week. No wonder I haven’t felt THAT much better. And it’s sad, that crap was filling, too.
So a little help from you healthy people out there – I need a new shake. I did try that green stuff a few of you mentioned in your posts long ago, but…I think the color just threw me off. I don’t know. I can’t do it. It needs to be like…fruity, with little vegetables, as opposed to vegetably, with little fruit. And I can’t have yogurt. Anyone have a great one out there? I’ll use the almond milk – that stuff rocks. I’ll never go back to milk again.
I’m going to try to be careful today. I read online that after a gluten stomach attack, things like high fiber foods and dairy can keep it going for days. So no dairy today (I’ll just take out the cheese from that omelet I was planning on….boo.), no soy, no corn, no nuts, and of course, no wheat. And low sugar.
Did I tell you? My come-and-go hives, which I’ve had severely for the last 2 years, is back out of my system. My allergist said this would happen, it comes and goes. A few months ago, I couldn’t touch an ounce of sugar without throat hives, and after testing it a few times lately, my sugar issue is back to normal, and I’ve celebrated with ice cream that’s not sugar free. However. I don’t want to be stupid, and bring these hives back right when it’s going out the door. So I really need to stick to the low- to no-sugar.
But also today, my stomach is inflamed, so high fiber foods won’t feel comfy either, like the salad I made last night. No veggies, either. What the hell am I going to eat today? It might be a BRAT diet day.
Okay, on to IVF. This is really happening. I am really doing this. Tomorrow, we are meeting with my doctor, and creating our IVF plan. All the decisions will be made here. One decision that is rolling around in our heads is the number of embryos to put in, when the time comes. My husband and I have both agreed on two. We would prefer not to go through this again, and twins are something we feel we can handle, afford, etc. Also, if one embryo doesn’t implant, there will be the other one. Many people put in 2 and are only pregnant with one. So we are in agreement. My doctor, however, might be trying to convince us otherwise. The reputation at the center is to have as few multiple births as possible, which I understand, because of possible complications. And I’m young. And my ovaries appear “healthy” – just not the rest of me, but whatever. I know he’s going to try to convince us to put in one, because he’ll assume the one will take. But I’m not so sure I want to count on it like that. We still are thinking two. So it’ll be an interesting conversation tomorrow, but I’m happy to make the plan. After that, I’ll have to wait about 2 weeks before I can get Provera and get this party started. Then, I’ll have new questions for you IVF-ers out there: How bloated will I be, like, do I need to go buy more pants for work? How painful is it? When they say I can’t exercise..what does that mean exactly? How can I avoid OHSS? How painful are the progesterone shots? Etc.
But one day at a time. Today’s goal is for my lower intestine to settle down and convince me I haven’t ruined my chances at a pregnancy by firing on my autoimmune system.