I’m back with Jenn‘s second prompt of October. I’m loving these prompts, and try to find time in my evening just to sit down and answer the day’s question. By the way, my IVF meds have arrived…and a picture will be following in the next post or two. The amount of drugs is out of control! But anyway…
October 2: How did you husband/spouse/partner propose?
As others of you have done, I figured I’d back up a bit. I met my husband, Nate (why have I not used his name yet?) when we were 12 and in the 7th grade. It was October (and I know this sounds crazy but it was either the 16th or the 17th…no idea how I remember that), and we were on a nighttime band field trip. Yes, I was a band geek. I played clarinet, and Nate played trumpet. We had come from different elementary schools and didn’t know each other. We happened to be sitting in the back of the bus on the way home from the symphony that Friday night, and while I was “dating” a very good friend of mine (who ended up being in our wedding), I took one look at Nate and, in a totally 12-year old way, completely fell in love. Except, I didn’t know it was love. All I knew was that I was completely obsessed with him – the way he talked, how he looked, the way he carried himself. I went home and wrote in my diary that night (which I still have) that I met a new friend, and that even know I was still “going out” with that other guy, I couldn’t stop thinking about this new kid.
We “dated” – aka, talked on the phone, that year for a few months, broke up, and did it all over again in 8th grade. We went to the movies once (with his mom, ha, saw Batman) and to our local amusement park. I remember clear as day that at the amusement park (this was in 8th grade), we were standing in line for a roller coaster and he grabbed my hand and I nearly passed out.
We broke up again in 8th grade, and did not date our freshmen year of high school. However, we saw each other constantly, because we both continued to stay in band, which meant tons of weekend trips and a yearly vacation trip, etc. Our friends were the same group. In 10th grade, we started “dating” for real, and I was allowed out of the house and completely in love, and to be perfectly honest, nothing has changed – we never broke up.
That’s not to say there haven’t been bumps in the road. Freshmen year of college comes to mind. But towards the end of that first year of college, we sat down and had a conversation, where we talked about how to solve our communication problems maturely, without insult or sarcasm, if we wanted this to work. And we did, and it worked. We both changed over the years -neither of us are our 15-year old selves, but I have to say, we got lucky, the changes we made were still very compatible, if not more so then when we were young. He is hysterically witty and extremely intelligent, two traits I admire tremendously. He’s also very outgoing, loves to laugh, and has a wicked soft spot for dogs.
Did I ever post this video I took of him singing Disney songs in the shower?
I don’t know if it’s possible to feel real love at age 12, but I felt something, and I’ve been lucky enough to have shared all of these years (almost 13 of them) with this guy, my best friend.
Okay, now on to the proposal. We had already been living together for a year – we got an apartment right after college. We had a dog, we acted like we were married. We knew we were going to get married. But I knew Nate was nervous about an actual proposal. We decided on our first big vacation together that summer, a cruise to the Bahamas. I just had a feeling this might be it. Nate managed to sneak the ring in his backpack, through security and all of that, and on our first night, right after dinner, he asked if we could go for a walk on the ship, and just in his tone – I knew it was going to happen. He didn’t sound like himself! He took me to the front of the boat where no one was around, it was dark and windy in the middle of nowhere, and he got down on one knee and said some things – honest to god, I don’t remember what they were. I couldn’t even listen. I believe I was hyperventilating and jumping up and down. It was an amazing moment – one that, honestly, I had been waiting for and hoping for since I was 15. Three years married now, we’re both 28, we’ve got the two puppies, our house, and just waiting on babies…