It’s a new week. I’ve been cranking on this bed rest thing and plan to keep going in the same way. It’s also Teacher Appreciation Week.
Not that I need any appreciation, but at my school, our PTO really does this up – last year I was showered with my favorite foods, flowers and school supplies all week. It was over the top and really quite awesome. I believe that today, Monday, is “wear your teacher’s favorite color” day. My students are just finding out this morning, through a letter I wrote to them, that I’m not coming back at all. I surely hope they weren’t all seriously counting on me showing up today and therefore, all wearing purple. I do feel bad about leaving them so suddenly and I hope wearing purple is the most they do. I really don’t want any gifts whatsoever. Today is also the day they got their permanent sub, someone they’ve never met. Hopefully by the end of the week they’ll all have adjusted to the transition.
I’ve heard that the first two weeks of bed rest are the worst, as you mentally transition to life laying down (or reclined), you stop doing anything for yourself, and your muscles turn to jello. I’ve got a few more days of this second week and I have definitely come around, mentally. I have a little “schedule” – once I’m up and settled on the couch for the day, when my husband goes to work, I watch the “Today” show, catch up on email, blogs, etc. Later I will do some reading, and at 1:00 when the soaps come on, I watch one of my own shows. Then I watch “The Talk”, and by the time it’s over, my mother stops over to take out the dogs. I spend ten minutes outside on my deck reclined, and after my mother leaves, the dogs crash again on the couch, I watch “Ellen”, and then my husband is home. There – how’s that for a thrilling routine?
That’s not to say I’m all cheery over here – I’m generally not, actually. For someone who has never been on it, the term “bed rest” is this mysterious condition where you get to put your feet up all day. And while yes, my feet are up, there’s so much more people don’t consider. It’s not a “rest” at all. I have to keep STILL. Is not like I can lift some weights or turn and do anything without getting “tightenings” – still not sure if they are real contractions or not. It’s not like I can plop the laptop on my stomach (I wouldn’t do that anyway) and do anything I would normally do. Like I said, my body needs to be calm, I need to lay back as far as is comfortable for as long as I can, and I need to try to keep contractions at bay. You never realize how often you use your stomach muscles, just to talk to someone, for instance. Every time I’m on the phone I have at least one.
Legs don’t get shaved, hair doesn’t get brushed, and showers are not often. Doing those things causes me to #1 – sit up straight, putting pressure on my cervix which is bad and #2 – use my stomach muscles, causing contractions. I timed my shower the other day from leaving the couch to finding it again. With washing my hair, it was between 15-20 minutes. Too long! And I can really feel it in my stomach and uterus – very heavy and tight. Not good.
So I guess I’m still in this place where I feel vulnerable. Especially physically. As it is, I’m having trouble with family visiting, not to mention anyone else. They come in quiet, I can’t see them enter, and I’m sprawled back. Feels like I’ve been in a horrible tragedy and they are tip-toeing around me as not to disturb. I feel like the guest in my own house and there is a huge elephant in the room. No, I don’t want to make small talk about any good books I’m reading. No, I also don’t want to talk about the rest of life coming up like everything’s normal. Not to mention being seen in the laying down position looking like crap. I haven’t gotten past that part yet, and so I really just would rather do this on my own. No one needs to see the bottom of my socks, or my bra straps hanging out. Who wants to eat dinner on the couch, because I’m not coming to the table. As you can see, I’m still working on this.
I have discovered, though, the wonders of baby center’s bed rest club online. A bunch of other women in a similar position as me, some better off, some worse off, all asking questions and talking. It’s nice.
As long as my short cervix and occasional contractions are my only issue, this is something I can do. It’s manageable.
This commercial happened this morning. I found it quite funny.