26 weeks

26 weeks today and I’m happy to have reached that milestone. Every Monday hereafter with the twins still cooking is a good Monday.

That said, today was not a great day. The past couple days in fact have seen an increase in contractions. Not more than 4 an hour, so not enough for a hospital visit. But even two an hour doesn’t make me happy. I figured out last night that if I chug water before bed, I have way fewer contractions in the transition from couch to bed and then from bed to couch in the morning. Not to mention trying to get comfortable in the bed. The night before saw many contractions and I decided to try the water trick. Not that I wasn’t drinking a TON already. But now it’s my daily mission to get in as close to 2 gallons a day as I can, with a quarter of a gallon in the last hour before bed. But man, chugging water when you’re not thirsty and are reclined sucks. It’s not comfortable at all, and I can’t exactly walk it off. It creates lots of indigestion. However, it really seemed to help last night.

Which was why I thought today would be a good day. I didn’t have many morning contractions at all and felt pretty good, so I even showered. And shaved. But then, around 11:00am, a mama housefly somewhere in my house gave birth (how freaking disgusting is that) and I was swarmed. I had to get up, I had no choice. I got up many, many times more than I should’ve, and not only did I stand up, I swatted at flies, stretching and reaching. I killed 10. 10. For the record, we have a clean house. I don’t know why this happened, except to say that it happened one day about a year ago. All of a sudden there were like 20 house flies and my husband had to go on a killing spree. After that it never happened again, until today. Luckily it was 10 and not 20. But as I was laying there, feeling trapped on bed rest with swarming flies, I knew I couldn’t just ignore it. They were dive-bombing my lunch. It was SO gross. Poor Riley was terrified of my swatting and the buzzing and she hid in the other room, shaking for hours.

After the fly escapades, I definitely had more contractions and overall discomfort. Now, many hours later, standing up to go to the bathroom is extremely uncomfortable with heaviness. It just sucks. So it’s not a comfortable night.

I can get past that, but it is nights like these that do make me nervous, that make me inevitably think about having these twins soon. Really, really early. Micro preemies. And then I start worrying about everything that comes with that so I take another gulp of water and try to move on. When I’m feeling great, it’s completely the opposite and I envision myself making it to term with these little guys. So it all depends. In one day’s time I can go from positive to negative. It can really be hour by hour.

We are postponing my shower (emails/letters going out shortly). I’m disappointed yet happy at the same time. It will be after the babies are born and should be far enough away for me to have recovered. It’s all a shot in the dark anyway, so I really don’t know what to expect. I do know that there was no way to have my shower in 3 weeks, as it was originally scheduled. I probably wouldn’t even be able to go, as I get contractions from simply talking and having a conversation. And so I had a selfish moment – this is my shower, most likely the only one I’ll ever have, and dammit, I sure would like to attend it. With the new plan I’ll hopefully be able to attend it but it’s still not the same. No games guessing babies’ names, no cute maternity dress where I can have that pregnant “glow” – not that I’ve had it so far – no excitement over babies who aren’t here yet. It’s a minor thing in the long run; the twins’ health is by far more important. But still, on a superficial level, after going through infertility, I’m sad that even this part of the journey – the last trimester (and then some) – couldn’t go as normal, like most other’s journeys do. Maybe I should’ve known better! But I was really looking forward to a normal shower. That said, this plan is as close to normal as it gets. Certainly more normal than me skipping my own shower and like skyping in or something. No thank you.

So that’s where I stand today. I picked up coloring this weekend – yes, really. Adult coloring. I made my mom a picture for Mother’s Day and then signed it with my non-writing hand so it looked like a preschooler made it. Sometimes, with this helplessness, that’s what I feel like! But I did get some shiny new markers (purple’s my favorite).

Also, prune juice? Actually NOT gross! Mix with apple juice, heat it up – I’ll take it over actual prunes any day. A couple mugs of it a day plus endless produce and maybe I can solve one of my issues!

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3 thoughts on “26 weeks

  1. robin says:

    I will say, and I know this is probably extremely superficial and greedy and whatever, but having twins means that I haven’t had a lot of the “normal” pregnancy / new baby stuff, and I am still mourning that in a way. I envisioned myself exclusively breast feeding, wearing my baby all the time, etc etc. Not so with twins. You CAN do it but me doing it meant I never left the house and was getting very, very depressed. I know that many women don’t get these experiences even with one baby, but to this day I still say “if I only had one baby…”

    So glad you have made it this far. It is a crazy amount of work, keeping those babies in.

    • robin says:

      I should of course add that I am grateful and ecstatic to have two healthy babies of course of course of course. I feel like that should be a given but sometimes when I say things like this people say well at least you have two healthy babies. I know. I don’t forget that for a moment. But sometimes I still think – the whole time we were trying to get pregnant I had a vision of what my life with a baby would be like (who am I kidding .. I’ve been imagining it for a long long time) and it just isn’t like that. And that’s okay. But it does take adjusting.

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