Yay! A milestone I’ve been waiting to reach for quite a while.
We met a new doctor a few days ago and he was my favorite thus far. Aside from picking on my husband for his taste in Boston sports (the doctor was clearly an Italian New Yorker) and his bluntness (he dropped a few swears which I found endearing), he was extremely supportive and helpful, and at this point, I can’t get enough of that.
He basically told me that instead of thinking of due dates, I just need to focus on the milestones. He then proceeded to tell me all the milestones I’ve already reached. Got through the first trimester, got to 18 weeks and could see all body parts were accounted for (okay, that happened at 20 weeks but close enough), got to 24 weeks which is “viability” – giving a baby a 50/50 chance of survival, and now, today, I’m at 28 weeks, giving a baby a 90% chance of survival – which, in my head, I’m rounding up to 100%, otherwise I’d go crazy. He told me I’ve done a great job so far and was impressed at what I’ve interpreted bed rest to mean. He then told me what every other doctor feels the need to say – “there are no scientific studies showing bed rest actually works”, but he said there aren’t other options at this point, so I might as well. After he left, the nurse and I agreed that bed rest for a short cervix just makes sense, as the pressure down there with twins walking around is just a bad idea. She had twins as well, was on bed rest and made it full term. Granted, she had medication for contractions and I don’t, but that still could happen. And as usual, babies looked great. I’ve been very lucky that all my pregnancy issues have been about me and not them. They grew a lot in a month – Bug is 2 lbs 10 oz and Goat is 2 lbs 9 oz. Practically the same size, not that it would be a big deal if they weren’t. But over 2.5 lbs each! I’m carrying around over 5 lbs of kids! At this point, Bug is head down (he is Baby A) and has been the whole time, while Goat has flipped a few times and is again breech, with her head firmly planted in my ribs, way to the side. There are too many other issues for me to care. If the doctor isn’t concerned, then I’m not either. So the doctor’s next goal was 31/32 weeks, but mine is 30. 30 is huge to me – two more weeks!
The doctor was also very clear about contractions, which I know I’ve been talking a lot about. First of all, he called me “thin” (and the nurse called me “tiny”), poked me in the stomach and said, “There’s your uterus. There isn’t any fat or anything extra, so therefore, you’re going to feel every little thing.” This makes sense to me, though I have to say – never in my life have I been “tiny” or even “thin”. I was born over 9 lbs and have mostly maintained an average build with lots of playing sports until my thyroid problems hit and I gained 15 pounds. I would really like to hear those words when I’m not pregnant, not when I’m having twins! But anyway.
I have contractions all the time. Many a day. Sometimes the constant movement going on inside my stomach causes them, sometimes rolling over in bed causes them, sometimes having a conversation causes them. Sometimes they come for no reason. They have increased in discomfort and amount over the last few weeks. However, the doctor said this is all fine and can happen “until the cows come home” and I won’t go into labor – unless they are at regular intervals, last a longer amount of time each, and become more and more painful. I am to watch for frequency, duration, and pain. As long as those things aren’t present, I can have these all day. That did make me feel a lot better but I still aim not to have them if I can help it. They really are uncomfortable. Luckily, they are not regular. I could have two in an hour and then not another one for three hours. That isn’t labor.
So I’m cruising along. I really don’t mind bed rest – somehow the hours just pass. What I mind is the worrying, of course, and I really wish I could help my husband, go to a store, bend over with ease, (I guess that’s not related to bed rest), and have the two baby showers I was supposed to have. Now I’m having none, except for some sort of party after the babies are here, and I’m just hoping people don’t forget, as I was hoping to get lots of clothes and diapers and not have to buy them for a while. Now that I won’t being seeing all these people, I’m a little worried that won’t happen and I won’t have any clothes for the babies! Plus they were the only showers I will ever have! Oh well.
Nothing in this journey has gone according to plan. Oh, stop planning things out, someone might say, but then they went ahead and had sex and created a baby. So in my mind, they don’t really get an opinion and I don’t want to be patronized anyway. I’m just saying – from the two years spent trying to get pregnant, and all the ups and downs that came from many a failed cycle and many fertility treatments, shots to the stomach and butt, driving to the office at 6 am, etc., to the lack of ease that has come with this pregnancy – I thought/hoped I’d love every minute of being pregnant and I don’t. I think I loved about 4 weeks of it, in between constant severe nausea and bed rest. It doesn’t mean I’d wouldn’t do it all again in order to have my first children, or that this isn’t the most important, awesome thing that’s ever happened to me – I’m simply stating that I wish I had what so many others have – sex, to make a baby, a breezy, uncomplicated pregnancy, with a normal shower and an easy birth. Still don’t know how that last part will turn out but as long as they get here healthy, I’m prepared to go through whatever’s necessary. I’m just saying, it would’ve been nice. That’s all.