They will be, at least, on Sunday. I don’t blog much anymore – not because I can’t make the time at night but usually because I’m scouring the internet for advice on this or that random baby issue, rather than putting my own information out there. But I have noticed this blog getting a good amount of traffic, and I read many blogs myself of those with kids, so I thought an update might be in order. I did find that the majority of people’s searches that led to finding my blog have to do with infertility, charting, temping, implantation spotting…etc. What I remember about that dark time is the amount of questions I had – what does it mean when there’s spotting? What if there’s not? What if I’m 10 DPO and _____ happened? Oh no, I feel a pain! Oh no, I don’t feel a pain! I remember those questions being so exhausting, taking over my entire self. And so, if that’s where you’re at as you come across the majority of what this blog has been about so far, I feel you. It sucks. It sucks even more when it’s not exciting to pee on a stick anymore. When it’s something you dread, or maybe worse, you become numb to doing it at all. Hang in there.
I do have a baby blog, but I found that I’m connected more through this blog with others out there whose journey’s I’ve followed, which is why I tend to revert back here.
So my babies, Mr. B and Lil C, are changing so rapidly. It seems like it’s every day that something new happens, even small, and the following day was nothing like the day before it. Today’s small event was that the babies reached for a toy while on tummy time. In fact, I positioned them so that they both reached for the same toy, in the middle between them. Yesterday’s event – Lil C finally figured out spoon-feeding. It means you have to open your mouth. And now, hmm, she likes it – though she prefers if you give a loud “nom nom” sound as you airplane the spoon towards her. My days are like that. I’m extremely lucky, so lucky, to be staying home with them for as long as I have and as long as I will be. It’s not something I take for granted, and if I ever have more than a minute of “I really wish I could relax and take a baby break” – I remind myself that if I was at work (doing a job I do enjoy, by the way), someone else, someone my babies don’t really know, would be watching them and playing with them. While that day will be coming this summer, if I can avoid it now, I will. And so I seriously cherish every minute, even the moments of crying babies, poop explosions, and the spit-up that went right down my shirt today, all the way down my neck. And I couldn’t shower for another few hours. Just another perfect day.
I don’t know what it’s like having one baby, but with two, it really does get so much easier. I mean in a way it’s actually more exhausting – never sitting down, constantly bending over carrying some heavy weights – it’s like teaching, being on your feet nonstop! But I can put the babies down and go to the bathroom or make a sandwich. Now that they are sleep trained (mostly), I can put them down for a nap and not have to rush up there the first second someone squeaks. It really is easier.
The beginning of my pregnancy through the beginning of my twins’ lives was very much out of my control. Infertility, bedrest, preterm labor, C-section, NICU time, preemies…all out of my control. Not having enough of a supply to breastfeed my babies exclusively..mostly out of my control. I could’ve pumped more, I could’ve drank more tea, I could’ve put those babies on me around the clock and I didn’t. But I didn’t know what I was doing wrong and so in that way…it was out of my control. And those are all things I wish had been in my control. So NOW, now I get to make parenting decisions that are in my control, that make me be the parent I want to be, and that feels awesome. I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for this. Because of that, I’ve fully enjoyed in the last few weeks switching to cloth diapers, starting solids with my twins, and starting up baby sign language. It feels so good to make choices that I think are right for my babies. Being a stay at home mom right now suits me.
Cloth diapering could be an addiction. I don’t have that kind of money but it’s actually…kind of enjoyable. I switched because I was running out of disposables, and I had always wanted to CD, but wanted to use up what I had first. And to be honest, those first few months were such a blur, I felt helpless and I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t have the brain power for a cloth diaper. But around 5 months, I felt like I had a good grip on everything. However, I was so used to disposables that I didn’t want some complicated thing you have to fold 8,000 ways and all of that. I wanted easy. So for daytime, I went with the BumGenius Freetime All-In-One. It’s just like a disposable – just snap and go. The snaps are adjustable, fitting babies up to 35 pounds, which for most kids will hold them all the way until potty training (except for Mr. B who is a whopping 21 pounds already). And my kids obviously share the diapers. If I ever have another child (not even going there right now), I will use these same diapers for them, and then I’ll sell them. I do a load of laundry every day and a half, which is just a rinse and then a wash, and I hang dry (but they can go in the dryer). They are dry by morning. It is so much easier than I thought it would be. As for poop clean up, I didn’t want to buy a sprayer, but I didn’t want poop all over my bathroom (which was my vision). I bought at walmart cheap fleece, cut it up into strips and lined each diaper with it. When the babies poop, I take the liner out, and the diaper is wet but not poopy, and I clean the liner in the toilet using rubber gloves. I don’t have to dip a giant diaper in there – just a thin piece of fleece which comes clean quick. No stains, no smells…piece of cake. And the colors of the diapers are addicting. I just purchased a nighttime diaper, the Pooter Hemp Fitted, but they haven’t come yet. So that’s CDing in a nutshell. Major money saver with more than one kid in diapers. My diaper trash can actually smells better than when I had disposables in there, if you can believe that. And by better, I mean you can’t smell anything at all, because it all gets rinsed out in the toilet. And for the most part – no diaper rash since I’ve switched.
Solids – so much fun. I make my own in our food processor because 1) it’s fun, 2) I’m in control of what’s in it, and 3) it’s super easy. So far, we have introduced peas, avocado, sweet potato, carrots, green beans and oatmeal. Butternut squash is on tap for this weekend, followed by the fruits. So far, the babies seem to like avocado, peas and green beans best. I assumed the sweet orange foods would be a hit, but they haven’t been as much. I skipped the rice, knowing Mr. B gets constipated easily, and went to oatmeal instead – and they both really like it. After I make a big batch in the food processor (not the oatmeal), I freeze them in ice cube trays and pop them out as needed. They thaw in a little plastic cup for a bit before eating and voila.
Baby Sign Language is my newest internet search. I’m really, really interested in it, though it seems like this passing fad right now. I love the idea that the babies can communicate with me and each other before they have the words to do so. I also would like to alleviate some of their fussing when they aren’t sure what’s going on. For example, Mr. B has lately burst into tears every time I put him down on the changing table. I don’t know what the deal is, but as soon as he realizes I’m just changing his diaper, he calms down. So, I introduced the sign “diaper”. Obviously, any sign I introduce right now means nothing to them because I’ve just started. But hopefully, if I’m consistent for a few months, not only will they understand what it means, but they might do it back to me. Until they start to get it, I’ve only introduced “diaper”, “eat”, “more” and “all done”. I don’t know who thinks I’m crazy more, the babies or those who come into my house and see my husband and I doing this but maybe someday, they’ll do it back.
And don’t get me wrong – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making different parenting choices. What I like best isn’t the choices that I’ve made, but the fact that I’m able to make the choices. I get to feed my babies what I want them to eat, and I get to prepare it the way I want to. I get to see what they do all day, and decide what toys they will play with. And I can carry them around the house (though usually not at the same time) with their heads on my shoulders and snuggle. I just REALLY, really like being a mom. Not to get too sappy, because who needs that, but I knew all along that I wanted and needed to be a mom. Infertility got in the way, I wasn’t my finest self, I felt changed, I was cranky and miserable. But now, that hole that has really always been there, that I’ve tried filling with students, with travel, with..you name it, has been filled and I seriously just feel like a complete person. Totally fulfilled. And I’m SO lucky to be in this position.
Anyway. Mr. B is 21 pounds, as I said. 90% for weight, 50% for height, 97% for head size. Lil C is 17 pounds and certainly much more petite, but also with a big head (90%). But Lil C oddly has newborn sized feet. To me, her legs and feet aren’t really growing, but the rest of her body is. She’s very short, and like I said – those feet fit in newborn size shoes, size 0. But it’s hard to compare sometimes because B is a big boy. I don’t know who is more average. They are completely the stereotype of a boy and a girl, which is weird considering I’m not exactly a stereotype myself. Mr. B is extremely physical – he’s closer to crawling, he rolls more than C does (she really doesn’t yet) – he can’t. stop. moving. His legs need to be straightened, he wants to stand, he wants to fall to the ground, he wants to bounce. He jumps and jumps and jumps. He can do this for a long time, and he zones out, staring off into space. He babbles his consonants and chews on anything cloth but those feet always move. Lil C is the exact opposite. Her body is very calm. She will sit there (the first to sit, because B can’t stay calm long enough), lay there, be held, be carried around, but she needs to be talked to, she needs to see what you’re doing. She wants to watch you explain to her how to make a sandwich, or why the dogs are barking. She doesn’t talk as much, but she feels with her hands – she wants to hold your cup, your food, your shirt…she tries to grab the dogs’ ears. She sticks her hands out so the puppies can lick them, and then giggles hysterically. Whereas B laughs like crazy when the dogs fight, and roll around, and make a lot of noise. B loves his lovey, and I didn’t realize at such a young age a baby could love an object that wasn’t a person. He doesn’t take a pacifier, doesn’t suck his thumb, so when it’s time for sleep, the lovey is where it’s at. C still takes her wubbanub, but mostly only for falling asleep.
Teeth must be coming soon, because they are both chomping on their hands non-stop, with more drool. I still don’t see any white yet though.
I still dream feed Lil C, as I’m preparing her bottle right now. 99% of the time, she sleeps through the rest of the night. B eats all the food in my house during the day, he doesn’t need any overnight.
So here they are:
I’m completely in love. This must be what all the new parents talk about, and I’m just so lucky to be experiencing it.