In Limbo

It has been a long few days. Lil C started to show symptoms of a cold, with sneezing, a runny nose, etc. But those same symptoms seemed to be exaggerated when we went outside, with one of her eyes just dripping clear tears, a clear drip from her nose, and both of those things being super itchy. She seemed to be suffering from seasonal allergies. To top it off, when she lays down flat, she has a nasty cough that causes her to wake up and cry. So tonight being night #3, she is waking up coughing about every 30-45 minutes. I go upstairs and pick her up, she falls asleep on my shoulder, I wait a few minutes, put her back down. Repeat.

The first night, I stayed up from 2:30-5:00 and just held her in the rocking chair while she slept upright. We tried propping the mattress but she kept trying to sit up and in doing so would roll down the little hill. Besides, it’s really not enough of a prop to do anything. Then last night we brought her downstairs and set up a pack n play in our bedroom where she slept on and off again, though not as bad as the night before. And now tonight, she’s been down for almost 2 hours and I’ll be going up for the 4th time. Poor baby. But I’m exhausted. (My husband is going up for this one now, thankfully and we do switch on and off.) I’m not sure what else to do for her. I’ll call the doctor next week if it continues, but during the day she eats and acts normally, save for the dripping eye and itchy nose. It’s sleeping that’s the issue.

The interwebs tell me that seasonal allergies don’t usually affect babies, as they need at least 2 seasons of exposure for it to take effect. So…are we doomed for C to have a lifetime of terrible allergies if they are showing up this early? Is this normal? Do they last the entire spring? I have no idea.

It feels like parenting these 9.5 month old twins has been more exhausting lately for other reasons too. As I’ve talked about before, B and C are a bit “behind” their peers with physical development. The doctor wasn’t concerned, and I know it’ll happen eventually, but they don’t do what most other babies their age (or younger) do. They don’t crawl, they don’t roll around, they don’t pull up on furniture. They still act like 5 or 6 month old babies who need to be carried or placed into a sitting position, but they’re very large and very heavy. B is definitely past 25 pounds and C is probably around 22 pounds herself. Everyone always says that I shouldn’t rush crawling or walking. Why they say this, I’m not sure. To hold onto the newborn baby stage? But really – I welcome it. When they can move around, sure I have to keep a very close eye on them and all of that, but right now they WANT to move around and can’t, making them frustrated and me tired. With all of these physical things they can’t do yet, they are making strides for sure, both of them. B absolutely loves to stand while I hold his hands. In fact, when doing this, he takes steps, walking all around our house. He started taking one or two steps like this many months ago, around 4 or 5 months old. But now he practically runs, shrieking with delight. Of course, I have to do it with him. I know it’s not aiding in his ability to walk, but he just loves it so much – it’s a guarantee to make him happy. And C, she has become a little more mobile with her body as well. When in the sitting position, she will lean way forward, balancing on her ankles, until she falls forward completely onto her stomach. As long as she isn’t smashing her face into something, she’s content enough for a few minutes in that position. And she’s just recently started jumping – like in the jumperoo or when you hold her in a standing position. For the longest time, she had no interest in bouncing and now she does. For her, these things are huge.

What it all amounts to is that neither of them want to SIT anymore – but they can’t do anything else. C wants to crawl, B wants to stand and run – but while my husband is at work, I’m only one person and I can’t easily hold them both for more than a few minutes. So they’re frustrated, like I said. And I’m tired. I look forward to the crawling and walking stage, so that they can achieve the independence they are wanting so badly but can’t yet attain.

And have I mentioned that they don’t NAP? Well, C does. She takes 2 one hour-ish naps. But B takes two 35-40 minute naps. That’s it. How many chores and tasks can I get done in two 35-40 minute periods a day? Not many. I get the babies’ things done, maybe a shower for myself, and that’s all I have time for, leaving so many chores for late at night. I remember the good old days of two hour naps…

I’ve talked about baby sign language before and mistakenly thought they might be starting to sign back. Not yet. I still only do “eat”, “more” and “all done”, and I do believe they sort of know what these things mean, but they don’t do them back. They also don’t clap, wave, or anything else of the like with their hands yet. As soon as they do, I know that’s about the time they could sign back. I look forward to that, too.

And then lastly, the food and drink issue. With food, I’m trying to introduce finger foods. B has 6 teeth that all came in in a month’s time. C still has none but she has very hard gums. I’m kind of terrified of choking, so I’m trying to start with mushy finger foods first before going to those Gerber puffs or anything like that. I know they dissolve, but still. So I have done tiny pieces of banana (dipped into oatmeal cereal for a hard coating, easier to pick up), avocado, and today, potato. They like all 3 of these things except 1) They, for the most part, can’t feed themselves. Only ONCE did I catch both of them on the same day pick up food and bring it to their mouths. Not since a few days ago. So I feed them one piece at a time, while encouraging them to do it themselves. And 2) they LOVE their purees. B screams bloody murder if I don’t get his solids into his gullet fast enough (yes, this is after he just consumed 8 ounces of milk less than an hour ago), and finger foods won’t do for just this reason. Too slow. When I feed him purees, even thicker with lentils and that sort of thing, I can’t get the spoon into the bowl as quick as he wants. His mouth is wide open, baby bird style, when that spoon comes around again. Luckily C is a slow eater. But she too likes her purees. I’m getting a little tired of making them the same pureed foods – lentils, sweet potato, avocado, pears, apples, peaches, carrots, blueberries, green beans – and would like to start introducing them to the rest of the food that exists out there. But I can’t see pureeing it all. They should be able to eat chunks now, right? So I’m just not sure where to go from here.

With the bottle – I’ve tried a variety of sippy cups and have found the straw cups to be…what I’m hoping to get the babies to use, for multiple reasons. They have each successfully taken a few sips of milk out of them. And water. But they just aren’t interested. The same with normal sippy cups as well – we tried those too. They just don’t care. They play with them, which is fine, but they don’t drink. Besides, they have never held their own bottles, and so far, they aren’t holding their own cups. I’m not really interested in introducing juice, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what to do to get them to transition. I’ve tried pouring half their bottle into the cup, but B screamed when (again) he couldn’t get to his milk fast enough.

I don’t know. I am personally ready for the next step in their little baby lives. I do miss the smallness of a newborn, and the way a tiny 8 pounder curls up on your chest. But really, that’s about it! I really enjoy them more and more every day. They reach to be picked up now, they tuck their heads into my shoulder on purpose. They give kisses, they giggle and laugh. They’re little people. This is why I’m tired of them being in limbo – I want to get on with the movement, the eating, the drinking. But I’m just not sure how to get there or what to do next. Will these things just happen on their own? I don’t know.

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These are C’s new “sad lips” – when she wants to cry but really isn’t all that upset. So cute.

And this is the face B makes when he holds onto a toy and gets excited. He squeezes his fists and shakes his whole body.

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And more kisses:

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12 thoughts on “In Limbo

  1. timelessmama says:

    Hi, Mmmmmmm…….the sleep thing is interesting. I hope you wouldn’t mind if I suggested “Save Our Sleep” by Tizzie Hall. She has a website too that you might like to have a look at. I used a baby whisperer but Tizzie books were pretty close to what she was suggesting. Maybe this might be some help. The food thing will come as will the drink bottles, just keep trying. It all happens in the good of time……

  2. JustHeather says:

    We’re dealing with allergies too, it sucks! For mom/dad and baby. I’ve got horrible birch allergies and Paxlet seems to have allergies too. 😦 I’ll be calling the doctor come Monday morning to get an appointment to see what I can do. I know how miserable I am and can only imagine how Paxlet is. Although, he doesn’t seem to have itchy eyes. Thank goodness.
    As for how long they can last, who knows. My mom has allergies most of her life, but in the last few years, they all but when went away. Me, I had minor hay fever for many many years and only 8 years ago did a bad pollen season trigger my allergies to what they are today. Allergies (to anything, foods, pollen and what not) can come and go throughout life.

    C and B WILL learn new things and move on to bigger and more grown up kid activities, in their own time. I know it can be frustrating waiting for it, but it will happen. I know Paxlet pulled himself up and could sofa surf for for months before he started taking a few steps on his own and finally walking a couple of weeks after 1 yr.

    I can read how frustrated you are by things, it is hard. For foods, I made purees myself. They were never as smooth as store bought (which he wouldn’t eat for anything) and after a while I just didn’t puree them as much. It took a bit, but he got used to it. Also, uncooked carrots are great for them to practice picking up and gnawing on. They can also be good teethers. 🙂
    Sweet potato, zucchini are some other foods I used on Paxlet. I would have to go back and see what else I made…

    They are doing great and so are you!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you so much for your nice comment! I had no idea allergies were a thing for babies this young, but apparently so. As for the food, I also make my own purees and they’re pretty thick already. Hopefully it’s not too big of a leap soon to finger foods. They just don’t want to put the food in their mouths themselves! But we’ll keep at it.

      • JustHeather says:

        Well I was wrong. (Nothing new there.) I took my boy to the doctor today for what I thought were allergies…nope, kids under 2 generally don’t have allergies. It takes at least 2 years before their body isn’t resistant against pollen. My boy most likely just had a virus-cold. Thankfully he wasn’t too sick and won’t be as miserable as I am with allergies, yet. *knock on wood*.

  3. robin says:

    I used to want to SMACK people who told me to be grateful that they weren’t mobile yet. I was in exactly your position (though mine weren’t quite as heavy yet). Aware enough to know they wanted to be mobile but frustrated because they didn’t know how. Cue exhausted, frustrated, angry, confused mommy … all the time … every day …

    Here are some things that I did. I don’t know if they will help you. At 11 months we still weren’t rolling, crawling, pulling to stand, etc. I started baby boot camp. I no longer put them in sitting positions at all. I would put them on the floor lying down, then I would physically roll them over to get a toy, or roll them over and then help them transition into a sit. No more putting them into positions, I was now physically manipulating them so they could feel what it was like to transition from one position to another. It is kind of terrifying to roll if you haven’t done it before, I think, and little little babies only aren’t scared because they don’t know better (in my opinion). Then, once a day, I would just physically roll them back and forth across the bed / play mat, cheering and laughing and singing, even though sometimes they would cry a little. Then lots of hugs at the end. I also would, once they were sitting, pull them all the way forward so they would transition from sit down into crawl and then roll. If one of them fell out of sit (which happened), instead of picking them up, I would roll them over.

    This was a LOT of work but at least I felt like I was being proactive instead of just passively watching their struggle. After a week or two, my boy started rolling (especially when I’d put him down on his back out of reach of a toy). Then he started sort of pulling himself forward. Once it clicked for him, he was all over the place. Then my girl, who waited and watched what he did, suddenly caught up and passed him and was the first to crawl. Etc. I’d say within about 3 months of crawling, they were walking, and never crawled again.

    When they became mobile my life changed, the clouds parted, and the sun came out… It is the best thing. They become so much more independent. It’s the best.

    Good luck!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      Thank you so much for this. I have thought of you because your twins seem like they were in a similar position as mine are now. Baby boot camp sounds like a very good idea. C is already leaning forward off her sitting position, and putting her hands down on the ground like she wants to crawl. But it stops there. I’ll keep working with them! Can’t wait for a little independence!

  4. Tales of a Twin Mombie says:

    I see what you mean! It’s true, the more active the get…it gets a bit harder and a bit easier. Easier because they can entertain themselves for a longer period of time, harder because you are on them. For example, while I can let them play on the floor more..when they crawl they are all over the place and trying to stick everything into their mouths! Haha..but it is a bit easier in some regards. Perhaps because it seems like they are less “needy?” I’m convinced that my boy have allergies too but my doctor says that they have to go through at least one allergy season first. I don’t believe it, I am convinced..lol. Your little ones are just so cute..I love the pictures! I send hugs your way!!

    • futuresoccermom says:

      I agree with you. I think as they get older in general, there are so many ways in which it’s easier to take care of them, but at the same you have to be on your game and super vigilant. About the allergies – yes it seems all doctors say it’s like impossible that first year, but seriously…this sure seemed like allergies to me! And thank you so much!

      • robin says:

        Maybe in this respect the delay has been a bonus for me … there has been more time to work on things like “no touch” and “yucky” so I don’t have to be constantly vigilant. I teach them what they can’t touch and what doesn’t go in their mouths, and MOST of the time they listen. I don’t know if I would have been successful in the same way with younger mobile babies though.

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