A post for my daughter.

After a long, draining week, I’m re-focusing my thoughts and ready to go. B starts services with EI this week. We’re going to do the Autism eval in a month, so that if he does qualify, he’ll get a lot more services than he will without the label. I’ll be home all summer, ready to be here for all the services, and then when I go back to work, I can choose to go back to just our Birth to 3 plan or keep going wit ASD services.

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This adorable little boy has made some wonderful strides since only the initial EI evaluation. My husband and I keep commenting on the growth we’re seeing, just from simple changes we’ve made at home. To see these changes, we had to ignore him. He had to come to us, or at least name what he wanted and say “help”. He now knows, I won’t turn on the light or the fan until he says, “Fan on.” I won’t help him onto the couch until he says, “Couch – help”. It’s amazing. He is saying these words, he’s doing the signs. We’re practicing the signs for happy and angry. His speech pronunciation has improved greatly. He’s almost where he was before the little regression – he says, “Go” and it sounds like go. He says, “Two” and it sounds like two, and not toh, or teh. An added bonus – he plays by himself more than he ever did before, because after ignoring his “eh eh” for a few days, he figured out how to keep himself happy. These changes are just from one initial evaluation – so I’m feeling very optimistic. Optimistic that he can get back on track and be successful in his toddler world. Optimistic that this new development in our lives doesn’t have to continue to suck up all of my brain space.

And because I’m feeling positive and happy, I’m spending the rest of this post dedicated to my daughter, Lil’ C. Funny how things change – when they were infants, C was so fussy all. the. time. B was all smiles and laid-back. I remember my husband saying how guilty he felt that B was getting no attention. Well, the tables turned. I don’t feel too guilty, because C is independent. She’s well-balanced. She’s my damn-near perfect daughter. But I’ve not focused much attention on her recently, because B has been needy.

The day I found out if Baby A and Baby B were boys or girls, I secretly hoped for at least one girl. I come from a long line of very strong mother-daughter relationships, and I knew I needed a daughter in my life. In a perfect world, I’d have one of each, because I wanted a son as well. Baby A was a boy. I felt a rush of excitement and then an immediate plea into the air: Please let Baby B be a girl. Pleaseeee. I held my breath and then couldn’t contain myself when I was told Baby B was in fact a girl. Yes!!

And ever since then, this little one has been a source of such happiness for me. As she grows, I see a bit of myself in her – in her smile, but also in her brain.

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She’s a thinker. She’s unbelievably conscientious, always thinking of her brother, or the dogs, or whoever – before herself. She’s positive and happy. She loves everyone and everything – wanting to people watch, kiss babies, hug dogs – etc. I can’t think of a single thing she doesn’t like and will say “no” to, unless she’s just following B’s lead.

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She’s thoughtful. When I ask her to go get a washcloth or a bib for herself, she always comes back with two. “B” she’ll say, and hand him the bib she chose for him. She gives him whatever he wants, when she’s done with it. At the “My Gym” class they went to today, while kids were jumping off the walls and getting hung up on every game (or in B’s case, chasing down every orange ball in the place…), C played with one eye on the adult leaders. Was it time to clean up? She’s the first one there, ready to help. Was another child sad? She’s next to them, making sure they’re okay. She follows directions, she likes to please. It’s how I’ve been my whole life and I see that in her.

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She’s a daredevil. While B wants his feet firmly planted thank you very much – she wants to do flips, be thrown into the air, go higher and higher in the swing. She seems to like watching big kids do gymnastics and wants to participate. She’s sweet and she laughs constantly. I’d say she’s giggling just as much as she’s talking. She’s just so good-natured.

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Never did I think, with my dark brown hair and brown eyes, that I’d have blue-eyed, blond children. The gene is in my husband’s family, so I’m not too surprised, but my husband has brown hair too. And even though she sometimes resembles me, her eyes take me aback every time I capture them in pictures like this:

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or like this one, when she was 9 months old, and is one of my favorite pictures of her I’ve ever taken:

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I’m just constantly proud of her, in a deep way I can’t even find the words for but I have a feeling moms can relate to. Because if how she is now is any indication of the type of child, teenager, or adult she’ll be, I know I won’t have to worry about her. She’ll make smart choices, she’ll be kind and considerate. She’ll be successful and happy. She’ll have the mother-daughter relationship with me that I’ve dreamed of my entire life, after the one I have had with my mom, and her with her mom. One more generation of sugar-addicted, thoughtful silly girls.

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And even though twins have been so exhausting since Day 1, with twists and turns I never saw coming, with a messy house and fur-covered rugs I can’t keep clean – I have been nothing but lucky. For my wonderful husband and the perfect dream I was able to obtain: Children. Healthy children. A boy and girl, both so perfect that my life didn’t really start until they were here.

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5 thoughts on “A post for my daughter.

  1. randomsqueaks says:

    What a wonderful post. You can’t miss the love in it. V loves to get things for M as well, and I love it. You aren’t kidding about twins being work but I think we can both say that seeing ours together now makes it worth it.

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