And sometimes, things just go right.

B’s been wearing me out for the last ____months. That tends to be where my head’s at when I sit down at the computer to type. And sure, there are some many frustrating moments. But there are also wonderful moments, moments that show growth for both B and C – emotional growth, language growth, developmental growth. 2 is here, like it or not, and it shows itself in so many different toddler forms.

C is growing. Her speech took off right at 2, like I have heard will happen. She speaks in phrases with heavy emphasis on tone. She’ll say things like, “Mommy, sit right HERE!” and “B had a poop!” She sneezes and I hear, “BLESS you, C!” I ask her if she wants peanut butter on toast, and she responds, “No peanut butter, just toast”. That’s a far cry from how she was speaking even a month ago.

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She giggles NON-STOP, sometimes at her brother, Daddy or myself, but sometimes just because. There was a piece of carrot in the sink tonight. She saw it and chuckled, “Hehe, carrot. Hehe, carrot. Hehe, carrot.” She fake laughs in hopes that it turns into the real thing. She hams it up for the camera and when I miss an adorable moment, I can say, “Go back and hug Daddy again, I want to take a picture” and she listens.

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She’s experiencing new things, like swimming. All smiles for warm water, but that’s about it! She likes to learn about something brand new to her, sucking all the information in she can get, and then spitting it right back at you. She trusts what we say and what we do, and is clearly so comfortable in her environment. She has NEVER gotten angry at anyone for more than a second. A meltdown wouldn’t even cross her little mind (maybe just some whining). I’m lucky to have a child with a happy disposition. It’s easy (it’s just a fact!) and enjoyable. And sometimes, she’s just a skinned-knee toddler carrying the biggest rock she can find.

DSC_0351And B, even with his meltdowns and hitting – when stripped down, those actions are just how he expresses his frustration. He likes when things work. He likes to understand something, like how wheels turn on different surfaces. He’s growing too – he’s starting to enjoy imaginative play, cooking up some play food or snuggling stuffed animals. He also LOVES to laugh. With a burst of energy, he’s sprinting up and down the halls, making up words and dissolving into hysterics when I try to pronounce what he said.

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This summer has had lots of firsts for him too. Turns out he actually may be the fish in the family (or as he says, he’s the “starfish in the ocean”). When he’s alone (without C) he does very well, spending a good amount of time reading through books or playing with his cars. It’s a sign that they both need some alone time away from each other, which is hard for me to do during the summer, obviously.

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B is a love. While C is Miss Independent, he is currently clinging to me like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not complaining – it won’t last, and I love when he snuggles in. He’s a passionate kid, a sensitive one – and he loves his family. His speech is really, truly making serious progress as well. He says things like, “More cucumbers please!” And “Mommy (does) little buckles, B (does) big buckle.” And “B likes carrots!”.

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Together, these toddlers are quite a pair. Though they definitely need more alone time, they’re concerned with what the other is doing every second of the day, if they’re not in the same room. Sometimes, I don’t think they realize that they are separate people. And while there’s cons to that, I’m so glad that they (usually) enjoy each other’s company. They know that they go together – and as they’re twins, I want them growing up knowing that they’re special, and to lean on each other for support and comfort.

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Even when raising toddlers feels so frustrating, and it surely has lately, there’s so much growth in this house and so much love to go around.

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And as a sidenote to the last post about timeouts, we’ve gone two days now without a timeout (and we haven’t needed it!) and two days without a meltdown. What changed? Me. When he starts to get frustrated, I validate his feelings, offer help, and move on. If he hits, I move him from the situation, look him in the eye and tell him “We do NOT hit”, (he smiles and waits to see if I’m going to continue being angry) and move on with a new thought, “Let’s go read a book” or “Please bring your PJs to the hamper”. I just move on. And because I’m not making him sit for any length of time, harping on what he did wrong and focusing on it for longer than 2 seconds, neither does he. He forgets that he was just angry and tried to push me, and goes back to doing something positive. From constant timeouts that only escalated his meltdowns to none at all –  sometimes, things just go right!

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6 thoughts on “And sometimes, things just go right.

  1. randomsqueaks says:

    Love hearing the positive sides to this phase. It gives me hope for when my two reach it, in a mere four months! Yikes! I completely understand your venting and frustration too. That’s just part of being a mom, I’ve learned.

  2. robin says:

    Glad you’ve found a strategy that is working!! I also try to name their feelings when they have a meltdown. Bananas meltdowns are usually frustration and Apples are usually disappointment. It really helps !! Ahh toddlers are so mentally exhausting!!!!!

  3. Amber says:

    Glad to see your twins growing and thriving! They are both so stinking cute. And, thank you for the reminder to validate feelings before trying time out. I know that works, but my threenagers have been having epic tantrums and I’ve not been good about validation.

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