Today was a day off from work. Today reminded me of the time I stayed home for a full year and pretended to be a stay-at-home mom. Today, I had big plans.
I try to remember, as often as I can, that “this too shall pass”. Both in the good way and bad. Sure, the meltdowns will end eventually (right?!), and the kids will be more independent, and perhaps they’ll even argue less in the car (orrrr, maybe not). But at the same time – my kids will be MORE independent (and older!), and won’t want to see what silly crafts and sensory activities I have planned for them. They’ll want to talk with their friends and watch TV (or whatever kids want to do these days….)
Sure, I’ll have a clean house one day. I’ll have a hot meal on the table by the time my husband gets home from work, and supposedly, everyone in my house will eat said meal. But then, the kids will be grabbing a bite between getting home from soccer practice and wanting a shower, or needing to work on a science project.
Life will be hectic, but in a completely different way.
I’ll stress less about the veggies my kids consume, but I’ll stress more about whether they’ll be broken-hearted if they don’t make the basketball team, or if they’ll face the pressures that so many teens do today.
I’ll still be worrying, but about different things.
It’s a passing season, the part of life I’m in right now.
So I try to remember this on days like today, when we hurry out to a new fun place (a museum that totally sucked, by the way. Like, the worst.) I’ll be ready with my camera and can’t wait for them to have a wonderful time until – they don’t.
And I’ll remember this when I look back on how my son stood in the “craft” room at said museum, straining to poop for a good, oh, 20 minutes while the kids around him colored and talked and stared at him. He did nothing but work on that, all 34 pounds of him.
Or when two older girls ran smack into him, and he fell to the ground – not crying, but shocked. Looking for me, he scrambled on his hands and knees across the room to where I was and hugged my ankles tight, as if by holding him I could transport him to his comfort zone and save him.
And after, when we hurried to the restaurant that was my twins’ favorite, and the mac and cheese burned my son’s mouth, even though I kept blowing on it and telling him to wait, and he screamed and spit it out and I caught it with my hand and my sleeve. And when they almost fell asleep in the car which would’ve ruined today’s nap, which wouldn’t have allowed me to sit at this computer right now.
And when one little boy didn’t want to take that nap, and threw a huge fit, flailing and screaming that he “didn’t want to sleep, I just want to playyyyyy!”
When one little girl runs squealing away from me as I try to get her ready for nap, with a huge poop in her diaper that I pray she doesn’t smush, to save me the mess (and her pants).
When it’s too cold to go outside today (at least for my liking, 11 degrees is a bit too much), and I’m wondering how I can make this afternoon fun and different, certainly to make up for the lack of fun we had this morning…..
I try to remember the change of seasons, and honestly, with all of this chaos and exhaustion, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Truly, so far this is my favorite season and I’ll be sad to let it go.