The bed rest blues

Thank you for all your helpful comments – it is so nice knowing I’m not alone in this bed rest thing! So I really appreciate it.

Tomorrow I will have been on bed rest, or really, couch rest, for one week. Seriously, the longest week ever. It is not relaxing. It is not a time to enjoy my free time. It sucks!

Left inside my own head, I experience different mental stages as a day goes by. Most of my day, my mental state is – just there. Not happy or unhappy. But I’m now racking up a quick little breakdown daily. I have a little moment, it lasts 5 minutes, and then I’m past it.

At this point, people have been very kind in offering to come visit or help out. And if this continues on my couch, I will take those people up on it. But really, right now, other than family, I don’t really want to be seen. I look pitiful. Not like, my hair is a mess (which it is), but I just…I’m sitting in pajamas with dirty socks, no makeup, I only shower every other day (sitting down), I can’t get up to stop my dogs from jumping all over you, I can’t offer you a drink and I get contractions when I talk too much or too loud….I’m just not there yet. Those who have visited (family and in-laws) continue to ask me the question, “So are you bored yet?” with a chuckle. Hardy-har, bed rest is just so FUNNY. I don’t FULLY blame them, because they don’t know otherwise and I don’t feel like sharing, but….good lord. Bored? I’m not just….laying here. Bored isn’t a word that even fits with bed rest at this point. I’m on bed rest to prevent my twins from coming out ridiculously early. That’s enough to send anyone over the edge. Bored. How about obsessing over every tightening?

Maybe I just don’t want to talk about it when someone stops over. Don’t ask me what I’ve done today, the answer is nothing. I mean sure, I’m reading a book, I’ve started watching “girls”…I’m not just completely doing nothing. But whatever I’m doing, it’s trivial. Who cares? What I’m doing is begging my babies to stay in. I’m questioning if I should call the doctor on a regular basis. I’m making a list of what I would need in a hospital bag, should I have to stay there. I’m constantly feeling my stomach. Ugh. Clearly I’m going through the stages of grief, and people have good intentions. I’m not mad at them, I’m mad at this situation. But like I said, it’s better at this point that I’m left to my own devices. However, I know people just don’t know what to say (it’s like going through infertility all over again!) and I don’t want to push them away, either.

See, when you have twins, the treatment options you have are limited. I can’t get a cerclage (a stitch that holds your cervix closed), pretty sure progesterone is out….I’ve been told twice now, there’s nothing that can be done until I start having regular contractions and land in the hospital. So imagine my panic as I start to figure out these contractions, which I am having.

I think I was dehydrated yesterday, even though I literally drank a gallon of water. Today I’m really pushing the water and seeing what happens. I feel like Bran from “Game of Thrones” or Colin from “The Secret Garden” – or whatever his name was. I also have a yeast infection. I had a major change in discharge two days ago (sorry for the tmi), but that is one of the signs of preterm labor. I knew it was an infection, but then I started worrying about my mucus plug. Anyway, it was an infection and I knew it. I’m interested to see if any other preterm labor signs I’m having go away when the infection clears up. That would be nice.

And as I sit, reclined, all day long (and fight off the worst heartburn because of this position), we are having the nicest weather…ever. Bright sun, 72 degrees. I go out twice a day and sit for 5 minutes. The world goes on without me. Pretty soon my car will need to be driven.

I didn’t originally mean for this post to sound so angry. Apparently that’s where I’m at. I never, ever saw this coming at 23 weeks. I’m over missing work and for goodness’ sake, I’m not bored, I just don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s a longgg time before my shower at 29 weeks, before 32, 34, or even 28 weeks. Day by day, each week a celebration.

Tomorrow I celebrate making it one more week, to 24 weeks 3 days, enough to get the steroid shot so the twins’ lungs develop faster should they come out early. Last week I couldn’t even get that. And tomorrow I find out how this one week treated my cervix. I am praying that it’s the same or better… Enough to keep me out of the hospital. I’ll also get hooked up to the contraction machine. I’m nervous about it.

This sucks.

Warning- whiny post ahead.

Day 2 of bed rest – originally categorized as “modified” but after talking with a doctor yesterday, I’d say leans more toward “strict”. This is fine, because I was making it “strict” anyway. I’m not taking any chances. But that doesn’t mean I’m not miserable.

It’s not the boredom aspect, though. Actually, while that might be an irritant, it doesn’t make me miserable. I do have some shows I could start and I’m about to become an avid book reader. Plus, I have some school-related things that can be done from my couch. So at this point, that’s not the issue.

Bed rest provides both a physical and mental challenge, both of which are driving me crazy and I’ve only just started.

Mentally, most of my thoughts are depressing. There’s the feeling of, oh, that hard stomach? That tight feeling? That exhaustion? Those times when I felt like I needed to hold my stomach from the bottom because it felt like it was going to fall out – those were all signs I was overdoing it and I didn’t know. And when I posted about how I couldn’t slow down, or I thought I was slowing down, I was unable to see that slowing down means STOP running errands, carrying things, doing chores, etc. And I didn’t.

Then there’s the feeling of both guilt and appreciation for my husband, who at this very moment is vacuuming under my reclined seat. He is taking on everything I do in this house, which amounts to all the cleaning, laundry, dog feeding, etc. not to mention fetching everything I need, from chapstick to socks to vitamins. He’s running the house himself. Not that it shouldn’t be this way – it has to be this way and he isn’t complaining in the slightest. But it’s just a lot for him too and I feel bad.

The worst mental challenge, though, is the one about my babies. This must be a common thought for everyone on bed rest, especially this early. But the fears, the what-ifs, are really hard. I’m trying not to think about them and I’m not even going to write them down. But the fear is there and it’s hard to forget. I just feel like I have so far to go.

And then there are the physical challenges. Some are quite obvious. I am getting up once every hour to go to the bathroom. That’s it. All the meals are on this couch, which I can recline to any level I’d like. But after one full day, my back already hurts. My shoulders hurt. I might’ve pulled a rib muscle or something trying to get comfortable. It’s a lot of time on my back. And a freaking SPIDER just dropped through the cushion next to me and I don’t know where it went and I can’t really get up to find it!!!

But worse, I’m slightly obsessed now with the feelings in my stomach and uterus. Was that a contraction, a Braxton Hicks or just a baby rolling? Why am I crampy after eating meals? The doctor says if I have more than 4 contractions in an hour I need to call. Well, my stomach tightens up every time I do anything! So my once an hour bathroom trips – there’s one. And then if I sneeze, there’s two. I moved to the other couch for a minute so my husband could vacuum and had one then – do I count these? Because they are due to my movement. Plus, are they even contractions? So if I just lay here, reclined, nothing will happen. I guess that’s why it’s called bed rest.

Finding the positive – it is now very clear to me that it’s a good thing I’m not working. I can’t get up without some sort of tightening in my stomach, not to mention teaching or running a talent show. Also, I’m grateful I’m not on hospital bed rest. That could happen eventually and that would really suck. And I’m learning to appreciate the little things, like sitting on a different couch so I can have a different view, and a good shower. Well, I think I’ll appreciate that. I’m borrowing a shower chair and it will be arriving in about 45 minutes. And being clean always feels good.

Anyway, there may be many more posts now that I’m couch-ridden, for probably quite a long time. And like I said, it’s only Day 2.

Bed rest.

Well. Today was not the kind of day I thought it would be. All those times in the past month that I’ve been wondering how to slow down, wondering if I’ve been overdoing it? All signs point to yes – either that, or this was completely inevitable. I’m not sure which it is.

Here’s how it happened. First of all, I’m measuring at 23 weeks and 3 days. We had our ultrasound at 8:00 this morning. They were spending time on the babies’ hearts. Everything looked perfect. Babies weigh 1 pound 4 ounces (“Goat” – the girl) and 1 pound 8 ounces (“Bug” – the boy). Their hearts were “so pretty” according to the doctor. Everything was fine, textbook and perfect. I was going to go back in another month. But at the end of the appointment, given my recent Braxton Hicks, my knowledge of overdoing it, and my frank paranoia, I asked if my cervix would be checked. The nurse told me the doctor hadn’t ordered it because last time, a month ago, it was long and closed. But she said she would check with the doctor, who said she wouldn’t mind giving me one if it made me feel better.

So I got one. And I knew right away that something wasn’t right. Thank god I asked for it. My cervix has shortened in the last month. I’m guessing by a lot, but I don’t recall an exact measurement. Interestingly enough, in the past month I started getting tired more quickly, I got the stomach bug and probably contracted while throwing up, and work got crazy.

I was monitored for contractions for about an hour, and apparently I had 2 or 3. I felt NOTHING. How am I supposed to know when to call a doctor if I don’t feel anything? So frustrating. We sat there for that hour and I tried to talk myself out of a breakdown. I was told by the hospital doctor to go on modified bed rest for one week, no going to work. I asked her if there was a difference between sitting and laying down and she said no. She said I could still do things, for example go to a graduation, as long as I sat down the whole time. She didn’t seem panicked and I therefore tried not to be either. I’m to return in one week. I asked what would happen if the cervix got better. She responded that we could conclude bed rest was helping and therefore I’d likely…. Be on more bed rest. If the cervix got worse, I’d be in the hospital.

After many hours to process all of this, here are my thoughts.

– On the one hand, if this were bad, like really, truly an emergency, wouldn’t I be on hospital bed rest, or at least strict bed rest at home?
– As much as I’m not happy about not going to work, I have a wonderful team who will help out, and my plans for next week are done at least. I even wrote a note to my students explaining the situation (very generally) so they won’t be shocked when I’m out for a week. (I’ll cross that bridge if it turns out to be longer.)

– On the other hand, I’m panicking about my possible treatment options. I can’t have the steroids to develop their lungs yet because I’m not 24 weeks. I can’t have the cerclage, I don’t believe anyway, because I’m too far along. Many of the medications that someone pregnant with one baby would get in this or a worse situation, I was told I would not receive because it’s dangerous for twins. The only thing I can do is put my feet up. And that doesn’t make me feel very good.
– I still don’t know what is normal to feel and what isn’t. I still do get what I think are Braxton Hicks. Are they? Or are they contractions? I was crampy very low in my pelvis, but after eating. Which seemed to be related to digestion, constipation and gas. Are gas and constipation-related problems a sign of preterm labor? They just sent me home this morning.

I wasn’t going to google anything, and then I did and almost felt a little better. So many people have had a shortened cervix around this time and been okay. Tomorrow I’ll be speaking with my regular doctor and getting more details.

Until then, I’ve put myself on a stricter than modified bed rest. Get up to pee, stand no longer than 2-3 minutes, and then back on the couch with my feet up. I’m aiming for a gallon of water a day. But honestly, this seems terrifying. I feel like there’s nothing anyone can do and this bed rest is a shot in the dark. I feel like I want to put a stop to every baby preparation activity going on right now, because the thought of certain possibilities makes me feel faint – I can’t even comprehend it. And because I don’t know why this happened, I’m having a hard time not believing that this is my fault.

In short, I’m reclined on the couch, bumming around on my Ipad and watching tv with my husband. Inside, I’m a wreck. There are a lot of horrible worries in my head, and I have a whole week (as long as nothing more severe happens) to wait it out and see some results. My first immediate goal is to make it to 24 weeks, a few more days, so I can at least get the steroid shots.

23 weeks!

I’ve been doing such a good job at not being paranoid and not reading Google – until now. But first, a new picture. I feel that during this past week, while on school vacation, I “popped”. Granted, I had already grown a nice goose egg up until this point, as can be seen in the first picture, taken at 21.5 weeks. A week and a half later, and woah – that is a belly.

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So that was a week and a half ago. Today, I’ve got this:

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Yes, I’ve grown. And since I didn’t feel any differently otherwise upon waking up, today I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, and went to CVS, the grocery store, and Target. Mind you, none of this was done all at once. It was spread out throughout the day. But still, my couch time was basically non-existent. After my last errand, when I realized how exhausted I was, and how heavy my stomach was, I finally sat on the couch, only to notice my stomach harden (like it does alllll the time), but for a minute at a time and then lessen up. Many times. While doing nothing. So cue slight paranoia.

Of course, this also happened at the same time I was reading the book “Juggling Twins” – where I read, and not for the first time, that the two things I can do that are in my control to push away preterm labor are eat more, and do less. More rest. Cue guilt.

Now that I’ve eaten dinner and chugged some water, the hardening seems to have stopped. Therefore, I am coming to the conclusion that they were Braxton Hicks. It’s so hard to tell! My stomach is hard all time and has been for weeks. It is very rarely squishy. That said, I could see that the tightening kept coming and going, which worried me. I started getting worried about preterm labor, which is a worry never far from the front of my brain. But I have no other symptoms. So I’m going to keep chugging water and try not to worry. Obviously if something else happens, I’ll call the doctor on duty. I do think I overdid it today, and it caused the BH.

The thing is, and I’ve talked about this before – I don’t know how to do less. I say this because I thought I WAS doing less! I don’t exercise a lick, I do basic cleaning rather than real cleaning, I don’t make dinner, when I sit I do put my feet up, and I go to bed early.

And what’s my husband doing? He is completely redoing our entire house. As it is, he cooks all my meals, walks the dogs, vacuums, etc. But prior to being pregnant, we started redoing everything – every room in this house is or has gotten new paint, new moulding, new doors, new wood floors, new carpet…you get the idea. And now that we are kind of in a time crunch, he spends all his free time working on these projects. I can’t ask him to do literally everything else too.

And I’m not worried about letting some major chores go. But dishes in the sink do need to be taken care of. Dogs need to be fed. I don’t know. I keep reminding myself to do less and sit more, and then I legitimately forget. Like I said, it’s not like I go to the gym. These are basics. Should I put a chair in the shower, for Pete’s sake?

Anyway, I do want to rest. I truly do. I just can’t seem to tell when I’ve done too much until it’s too late. And now that I’m going back to school on Monday, I REALLY need to learn this lesson. Keeping the babies cooking is my number one priority, and sometimes I forget that it’s different with twins. It’s a higher risk. Just slow down already!!

I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ve got three more loads of laundry on my list – comforter, sheets, and dog blankets. Maybe I’ll just look past the inches of dog fur…

22 weeks, weight gain and “tough” decisions

Today is 22 weeks and every Saturday, I’m just glad to have made it another week. Bug and Goat, as they’ve been determined to be called, continue to cook away. I feel lots of movement with both of them, though I still relate it to gas bubbles. It seems like most people, when they first feel movement, are in awe of the feeling. To me,  they feel familiar. I suppose that means prior to being pregnant I’ve had a lot of gas…

My husband has been able to feel it a couple of times, but usually when there’s all types of bubbling going on in there, as soon as his hand finds my stomach, it stops. Isn’t that just the way. In addition, for the first time a few days ago when I was by myself, I actually watched my stomach move without having to touch it. So that is cool.

I’ve been feeling large, which is fine with me. It probably has a lot to do with the heaviness of my stomach, as I’ve talked about before. When I recline or sit back, my stomach feels like a heavy set of bricks, threatening to crush me and limit my breathing. When I stand up, it feels like it’s going to fall off and I need to hold on to it. In those moments, the only position is sitting straight up. We got brand-new, comfy couches you can sink into – and those aren’t helping at the moment. So I sit propped up with a pillow.

But interestingly enough, those who see me every day view me as “small”. I think it’s a compliment, as apparently pregnant women don’t want to be called “big”. Someone who is not normally in my building found out I was pregnant the other day, and when I ran into her in the bathroom, she said, “I had no idea you were pregnant – you can’t tell at all!” She wasn’t being polite, she was genuinely shocked. Um, really?

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What does that look like, then? I just ate a Big Mac? To her defense, I was wearing a black sweater – I guess that can be deceiving if you’re not looking at me from the side. But still.

See, carrying twins, I don’t want to be small. I want to be appropriately large, because I want appropriately large, healthy babies. I’d rather look like an elephant and have twins with healthy birth weights, rather than be small. I wasn’t thinking I was looking small, until a few people said I did.

This all leads me to weight gain. Prior to being pregnant, with a few years of thyroid problems, fertility drugs and an inability to motivate myself, I gained probably 10-15 pounds. Yuck. Still within the “normal” BMI, but not where I wanted to be to feel good. Then, when the nausea kicked in big-time at 5 and a half weeks, I lost 7 pounds. So, once the weight started to go back on, I considered that my starting point.

One of the things I see recommended a lot for those carrying multiples is to gain a lot of weight. That seems to be the number one most important thing you can do. 24 pounds by 24 weeks, or something like that. Well, I was doing okay. A week ago at 21 weeks, I had gained 15 pounds. Not quite there but on my way. Then over the weekend, I got the stomach bug. (Sidebar – I’ve now had one of the worst head colds in memory and a very unpleasant stomach bug. Do pregnant people get sick more often?) I lost 5 pounds. At this point, I was at a 10 pound weight gain overall, at 21 weeks. So far I’ve gained a few of those pounds back.

So overall, let’s say in 22 weeks, I’ve gained 13-14 pounds. I feel like I should be gaining more weight, and I know that the best way to do that is to eat! Aren’t pregnant women supposed to be all-day feeding machines? You know, an appetite of a 10-year old boy? Well, it’s really not that way.

In fact, the bigger I get, the less I can eat in one sitting, because nothing fits in there. If I shove too much in, I pay for it later with heartburn and discomfort. The late night snack that is recommended? Can’t do it – too close to bedtime, resulting in….heartburn. So I’m not eating that much, really. Not to mention, I need to make sure some of what I eat everyday is produce to…help with digestion. I’m certainly not going to gain weight from my daily apple, banana, pear, and cantaloupe. So it’s a bit of a struggle – I need lots of fruits and veggies, but they don’t help me gain weight. I’m always full after my main meals, and I don’t want a nighttime snack. This is a weird position to be in, for sure.

These thoughts are similar to what I was thinking about last week, with overdoing it at work. I look “small”, and I’ve recently put WAY too much on my plate job-wise, and I come home and again think, I’m doing too much. But it doesn’t look that way at the time, while at work, because I’m in the zone and doing my thing. I don’t know how to “take it down a notch” as an elementary school teacher. I feel like the only way I could is with a doctor’s order. Otherwise, in the moment, I’m doing my job.

Finally, recently I’ve been struggling with decisions that could only be put into the category of “pregnant women problems”. Are they really problems? Not really. But they’re there. We had made some decisions – names, colors, certain things for the registry. And in the past week, we’re questioning EVERYTHING. We’re back to the drawing board on names – we still like the ideas we had, but I think we’ve said them so many times that they’re losing their effect – making us wonder if they’re the right names at all. The same goes for nursery ideas, colors, etc. We do know we’re going with a nice yellow color for the walls, which is different from our original mint green. It’s a cornsilk yellow. The furniture will be cherry, so kind of dark, making the other main color dark brown. Earthy, which is fine. But yellow and brown? Do I need to be thinking about decorations, adding more colors, etc? Do I need a theme? Like, jungle animals or something? I’m not really a theme type of person, at least not for a child’s room.

It doesn’t matter what I’m talking about – I can’t make a decision on anything all of a sudden. It’s like when you go into a Yankee Candle store – after the 20th scent, your nose goes numb and that’s it, you’re done. It’s frustrating. I know we have time, but I want the decisions made because I can then do things with the decisions that make me happy. But in reflection, these “problems” are pretty good to have. Last fall, I couldn’t have imagined even getting to this point.

As a side note, here are some new pictures of Riley and Sadie. Before Bug and Goat arrive, these dogs (who wake up promptly at 6:00 am, no matter what time they go to bed) are my babies.

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Taking it easy

…or not. Every once in a while I stumble across an online forum (which I probably should stay away from, but sometimes they can actually be helpful!) where the topic of taking it easy comes up.

In fact, the question posed on the forum I read last night asked if she, at 11 weeks pregnant with twins, should plan for leaving work by a specific time period. About 50 people answered her, and the majority of them had received timelines by their doctors. Most of these timelines suggested that if you were working an on-the-go, on-your-feet job, you should consider taking a leave around 24-28 weeks. Um, really?

Of course, I have been very, very lucky during this pregnancy and I’m aware of that. No issues with the babies, no cervix or placenta problems – all my appointments have been textbook, short and sweet. I’ve never been told a single thing about taking it easy in the weeks to come,  nor have I thought to bring it up and ask. Then again, I’m not sure they know I’m an elementary school teacher.

So I wonder to myself, as here I am at 21 weeks – am I going to make it through the school year? Am I going to make it through the next month? Hmm..I start pondering all the things that are going on at school I would miss, or at the very least, what my classroom needs are. I’m in charge of my school’s first-ever talent show, with rehearsals coming up in a few weeks and the show at the end of May. There are field trips, our “graduation” ceremony at the end of June (my students go on to middle school next year), parties, assemblies. Things I help to run. In my classroom, nothing at all has been taken down for summer (as we’ve still got 3 months left). And my students – what a crappy way for them to end their year, with the teacher all of a sudden gone, with no warning (if I was put on emergency bed rest).

I’m not in a panic whatsoever. I know that if I need to stop working, everything at school will be handled, and other people will step up to the plate and help me out. It’s not like things won’t be handled. So that’s not the issue. It’s just that taking a leave from your job (especially when you’re a teacher) affects so many people. I would get help, and everyone would have to deal, but that’s a lot to ask. So, in the coming weeks, while I’m not yet waddling or panting like a buffalo, it might be smart of me to at least – clean up my room. Put away things that are no longer needed. Organize my files. I have a whole shelf of my personal things – a scrapbook, pictures, notes from past students – I don’t want a sub, or worse, my students, trying to clean all that up for me. Obviously I can’t take down things like my calendar (oh, but so many little pieces that can get lost!), but what I can straighten up, I guess I should.

From the outside, I just look like someone who’s pregnant with one baby. Noticeably pregnant. And so I think people assume I feel like I’m just pregnant with one baby. Considering I’ve never been pregnant before, I can’t say for sure that they are wrong. I’m not sure how uncomfortable singleton pregnancies are at 21 weeks – they’re not too comfy for twins. However, from what I’ve read, if I haven’t started feeling like I’m carrying twins yet, I surely will soon. Isn’t it true that at 30 weeks, you’re full-term sized if you had one baby? AKA – the size of someone carrying one at 40 weeks? Well, 30 weeks is the beginning of June. We’ll still have 2.5 or 3 more weeks of school to go. If I were pregnant with one baby and 40 weeks, would I still be teaching?

I doubt it.

So I have this feeling the end of June will be quite interesting. Granted, I’m not due until the end of July. If there are no other problems and the doctor just wants me off my feet, I wonder if, once the school year ends, I could get up and at least somewhat enjoy the summer. Poolside.

None of this is in my control, and that may be the bottom line. Teachers don’t like when things aren’t in our control, but I’ve fully accepted that whatever happens in terms of bed rest, happens. However…

To what degree should I be “taking it easy” now? I teach sitting down, so there’s that. But between subjects, it’s up and down, answer the phone, help kids on their projects, moving all around all the time. To the copy machine. To the bathroom.  Last week, we held talent show tryouts, and I was up and down many times, hooking up kids’ iPods into the speakers, helping students with the microphone, and then I even got down on the gym mat to hold it down for a kid doing flips. At the time, I didn’t feel as if I was straining myself. It felt physically right, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. But yeah, I was super tired that night. And wondering – did I overdo it?

When I run errands, or when I pick up my 22 pound dogs from the driveway into the car, or from the floor to the bed, am I overdoing it? We’ve been walking the dogs, albeit slowly, around the neighborhood. Is that too much?  I’m not exercising, so that’s not an issue.

Are there any activities that I should not be doing, even if I feel like I can, to help prevent bed rest or taking a leave from work? I guess I just don’t know. I won’t be checked on again until the end of April, so until then, I really want to work as long as possible. I also want to cook these babies as long as possible, and that really is my first and top priority. What should I do now to help both of those things happen, as much as what’s in my control?

My super heavy belly

Okay friends, I think my blog reader has been acting funny so I’m missing many of your posts, and I’m not sure who is missing mine. That said, I’ve got a first-time preggo question for you, whether you’ve had one, two, or more babies at once.

I’ve actually mentioned it before, many weeks ago, but it kind of went away.

My stomach is FULL, TIGHT, and HEAVY. Emphasis on the heavy. All. Day. Long.

I’m not worried something is wrong, but I do want to be able to know if these are Braxton Hicks or a twin thing, or something else altogether.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had BH, but I always thought that when I had one, I’d know it. Isn’t BH when your whole stomach goes rock hard for a few minutes, you feel a weird pressure, and then it goes away?

This isn’t that. This starts at about 10 in the morning and lasts all day, only getting worse as the day goes on. When I stand up, my stomach feels so heavy I just feel this need to hold it from the bottom and get myself in a chair immediately. When I sit, my stomach feels like it’s a pile of bricks piling on top of each other, so that’s not comfortable either. When I recline, my back kind of hurts and I have a little shortness of breath. Therefore, there is no comfortable position. Laying on my left side at night on my Snoogle is about the only thing that feels okay. Forget bending over – I can’t even tie my shoes!

When I eat, it’s all the worse. I’m quickly realizing I physically can’t eat more than a few bites without feeling full.

Here’s the thing: I’m only 20 weeks! I’m probably showing somewhere between 24-26 weeks I’d guess. I know many, many people who, at 24-26 weeks, had a cute bump and went about their lives with little discomfort. I feel like I’m 500 weeks pregnant! Gosh, many pregnant women still go to the gym, and I can barely walk from the bedroom to the kitchen without holding my stomach and becoming winded!

Like I said, I don’t think this is BH. My stomach is tight and hard, but not rock hard. I can still push on my stomach and it gives a little. And the heaviness lasts all day. I’m big, but not that big.

Am I cooking up little hulk babies? Or is this a normal thing?