“I’m thankful for…”

Today is a perfect day to write my first Thankful Thursday post. It’s not because I’m having the best day and am generally feeling optimistic, with rainbows and butterflies. No, it’s because I’m the exact opposite. Blame it on the Clomid?

I can think of 10 negative thoughts at this moment. At least. But since this is a Thankful Thursday post, I’m forced into being positive. It’s probably a good thing I’m doing this, because I have to dig a bit deep to find some material here.

Here we go. (I feel like I’m sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table.) “I’m thankful for…”

My family, each for different reasons. My mother lets me dump all my thoughts, good or bad, and helps me sort them out logically. My sister is 7 years younger than I am, so she brings out a younger side of me. I like feeling like a teenager again when I’m with her. She’s my exact opposite, but clearly my sister, and I’m lucky to have her. My father is supportive, and also knows everything going on with my fertility. My husband is funny and sweet, and holds on tight to me in the kitchen when I thrash around to get my cranky energy out. I obviously have many more family members, but I’ll save them for another Thursday.

Hmm. Well, tomorrow’s Friday, right? There’s always that. I’m seeing some old work colleagues tomorrow afternoon and I’m excited about that.

As much as I complain about it, I’m thankful for my house. We bought it from my mother a few years ago, and it’s my childhood home. My old bedroom upstairs was virtually untouched and I like that.

I got a new “Real Simple” magazine in the mail! (I can’t figure out how to italicize on my phone.)

Okay, that’ll be all. CD 8, with one more Clomid pill tomorrow. Happy Friday!

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Secrets no more!

Well, I’ve finally done it. I’ve told the rest of the members of my family (and my in-laws) that I’m struggling with conceiving a child and therefore am getting medical assistance. There. I said it.

Most of my close family already knew – but there were a couple people I was holding out on. I was hoping my husband could jump in and help, because I have seemed to be tongue-tied for the last seven months, but he was definitely less assertive than I was. So that wasn’t going to work.

Finally, the other night, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hate this idea of carrying a personal secret that someone close to me, whom I trust, would want to know, and would be supportive about. Why keep it in? I didn’t give specifics, just that medication would be involved and I’d be starting in a few weeks.

Ever since then – I feel so much better. I have nothing to hide! Seriously! It’s out (not on Facebook….but out), and I just feel such relief. On Christmas, if the question comes up, I’m ready to deal with it. I’ve got my speech prepared.

Telling people about this was seriously the best thing I ever did, because I feel better.

Now, on to Clomid!! Three more Provera pills and I’ll hopefully get AF two days after that, like I did last time. That would put me right at Christmas – with the office closed. Oh well. As long as I’m calling on Monday and starting Clomid shortly after that, I’ll be happy. I’ll keep you updated!