It’s all about perspective, and I should know that by now. It was only a few weeks ago that the summer felt endless, the twins were melting down at the drop of a hat, and we spent many days without driving anywhere. I certainly wasn’t appreciating my time as much as I could have.
And now I look at the calendar and I’ve got one week left. One week until our nanny starts, even for half days as I set up my classroom. The week after that, I’m back to work full-time. Ahh! How can this be almost over already?
So now that I’ve switched my perspective, I’m enjoying almost every moment with the twins. I mean, tantrums are no fun, and they both get angry often, but it doesn’t last long. They are over “normal” toddler issues, like not wanting to wash their hands, wanting the other to have a certain toy that the other one does not want, etc.
Now, I look forward to spending the morning outside, playing with all the push toys one could possibly want, up and down the sidewalk. Pushing them on our swings. Playing “kitchen” and “cars” and whatever else they come up with.
The hard part of two years old right now is their constant STRONG emotions. They’re either super happy, super giggly, super sad, super angry. They all come on strong. But those happy emotions are so lovely, so fun. B squeezes you in bear hugs, C laughs if you even look at her. We’re in a good place.
And with B, we’re in a really good place. His language, as did C’s, took off right at two. He speaks in full sentences, saying things like, “Mommy, play cars please?” or “Put sandals on now.” And of course C does this too (“Mommy, sit right HERE!”), but she wasn’t the one receiving speech therapy. Speaking of it – sorry to say, but our speech pathologist was not the one who helped B make these speech improvements. To this day we’ve only seen her twice since April. And you all know how that last visit turned out. Our developmental specialist didn’t help either, to be honest. She’s nice, and B likes her, but the suggestions she has been giving me are things I was already doing, like trying the “first, and then” technique. However, she came to play once a week, brought new toys, and it kept the twins happy. He also has been going to outpatient OT once a week. This, of all the early interventions he has had, was the most beneficial. He still needs work on using two hands at tasks, which is something kids who crawled don’t need help doing. He still is sensory sensitive, especially to wet, slimy, sticky textures (though it was comical to watch him delicately pick off every piece of corn “grass” on his cob tonight). You know, he might just always be sensitive to that sort of thing. It’s not a problem unless it impacts his daily life – if he can’t complete tasks. He won’t touch sand in a bucket, but at the lake this week, he walked around barefoot and waded into the water on his own, completely fine. (C hates water…) So, he’s okay.
He’s more than okay. He’s doing JUST fine. With school starting soon, we’ve decided to stop early intervention right now. No more speech, no more developmental specialist, no more OT (for now on that one, anyway). And since we decided on a course of action to handle his hitting and aggression, it has decreased. He does not hit, push, pinch or bite on daily basis anymore, as he was doing. We stopped timeout, and instead I always 1) Acknowledge his feelings by repeating back to him what he’s feeling. “I know you’re so mad you have to put on your PJs”, I said tonight. Right then and there, the screaming stops and he’s listening, wondering what I’ll say next. 2) Tell him to show how to be “nice” to C, or to the dog. “Show me how you pet the dog nice.” And he does. 3) Give him the words that calm him down immediately. When he yells at the dinner table, “NO!” I say, “We don’t yell. Say, “No, thank you.” He does it, tone switched just like that. 4) After those things happen, distraction. “Show me how fast your car goes.” And it’s over. No harping on it, no trying to teach him a lesson. He’s TWO.
And C? She’s thrown a few tantrums of her own recently, all out of the same emotion: frustration. She gets mad when she’s trying to set up her dollhouse and the chairs fall over. And when she wants my help but I don’t do it quite like she wanted me to. But it’s normal, and it passes. And we move on.
They’re still exhausting, more so than just about every stage of life so far. Sometimes, between the two of them, I can’t get a word in edgewise. I ponder if anyone can hear me over them yelling, the dogs barking, and my husband singing at the top of his lungs. But the chaos is temporary, and I’m SO going to miss them when I’m back to work soon.
I’ve got a couple posts I’ve been waiting to write, one on the changes we’ve made to their play areas in anticipation of this next year at home with their nanny, as well as a post on taking their limited foods to the next level (with success!), tying in to how we are getting organized, grocery-wise, as a family. All before school starts!