Good lord.

School is kicking my butt lately. The kids are brand new to fifth grade, so they are pretty needy, not to mention some scheduling issues that are being worked out. No need to share that story, but school is busy and my brain is consumed by it, basically. Home is busy, and not in the best way – my husband has class two nights a week, plus softball a third night, and Friday night is always a wash, with us half-passed out on the couch stuffing our faces. So we really only have one night a week to take it easy, pack lunches, watch a show, and get up early and exercise. My rituals are all messed up. I was made for a schedule. Chaos isn’t my style.

That said, the only things this chaos isn’t allowing me to do is exercise and blog. I don’t really miss exercise…but I need to get back on that. I do miss blogging sometimes. Anyway, N’s off at softball now, and before I make my lunch for tomorrow, breakfast shake, pack my water bottles, pour out my vitamins, lay out my clothes….you get the picture, I figured I had time for a quick update. (And yes, I really do try to do those things every night – makes the morning routine go by fast!)

I went to the doctor this morning to get my 34mm “exploding” cyst checked out. Long story short – instead of one giant cyst, I now have two small ones. However, the 34mm is no longer there, which leads me to believe that yes, it exploded last week. The smaller ones are around 20mm, but the doctor is fine with that, and is proceeding with IVF. I took my first Provera tonight. I’ll be ordering meds tomorrow.

Then I had unexpected blood work. Normally I don’t mind, but today was the first time I had to go see my doctor, 40 minutes away, since school has started. This means major rushing. Big time. See, you teachers understand…we can’t just take a half day every single time we need to go to the doctor’s. I don’t have enough days, and they are unpredictable and will sometimes be multiple days in a row. Luckily my principal understood when I mentioned last week to her that this could happen, and I simply sent a few texts this morning, but I was 20 minutes late to school today. Not 20 minutes like, past the time I’m supposed to arrive. 20 minutes past the students’ arrival. I was at my doctor’s office waiting in the dark at 7:00am. I can’t get there any earlier…it’s not even open. I did my part, but I didn’t anticipate needing blood work, and getting stuck in a half hour of traffic. So my class was covered by colleagues and my students were reading and patiently waiting for me when I got there. I just feel bad that my infertility causes many of my staff members to be waiting at my beck and call during this IVF cycle. Today was just the beginning. This is going to happen a lot, and I feel bad being late. It’s really not okay, but short of waiting until next summer, I don’t really have any other options. And it’s weird – I might actually have to tell some people at work about IVF, since, you know, they’re stepping in to help me. Who has random appointments at 7:30 in the morning on a regular basis? IF patients, that’s who.  It was a stressful morning. Luckily I swerved through traffic like a pro (at the speed limit, Mom), drinking my crappy breakfast shake while simultaneously blasting Glee’s covers of Whitney Houston I downloaded over the weekend. Seriously…if you like Glee, and you like Whitney Houston, you must get these songs. I have “I wanna dance with somebody” on repeat, and I’m currently humming “How will I know”. So.Freaking.Good. Glee is my guilty pleasure.

So that’s where I’m at. N and I are continuing our “how many embryos on a Day 5 transfer” conversation, but we’re also taking a little break. It starts to make your head spin. We had our original “gut” answer, but now we’re questioning it. We will do more research and it might be a game day decision, if I even get to a Day 5 transfer. We’ll see.

N’s birthday was yesterday, my mom’s is tomorrow. N’s psyched – for his birthday, I got him a ride in a Nascar-like stock car, where he’ll get all suited up and do four laps at top speed with a pro. He even has to climb through the window. stuff.

And finally, I’m in love with Jenn’s October Prompts idea – I love a good writing prompt, and these are awesome. I’ve stayed away from blogging lately, so we’ll see if this gets me back into it. I think my real life friends should start their own blogs and join in the October Prompts. 🙂

My last IUI…

…is tomorrow. Yes, I’m actually ovulating, and although it took about three weeks to get there, I’m happy that the day is finally here. It is only one egg, in the end. There was a second one, it grew to 15 mm..and stopped. I went into the fertility office four days in a row last week for both the blood test and the ultrasound. In the end, they even gave me an extra day to see if the second one would cook anymore. It didn’t. So one it is. And I mean, really? Three weeks of daily shots and my body produces one freakin’ egg? Last time I had three! At the time of triggering, my one follie grew to 18 mm, and the doctor seemed pleased with that. So we’ll see.

One thing I am not going to do in this TWW is get excited, based on “symptoms”. There are no symptoms from this – what I’ll feel the first 10 days is nothing but my progesterone cream talking. And I will not temp, not even once, because as I now know, Crinone raises your temps, too. And lastly, as I found out the hard way, you don’t get your period while you’re still taking Crinone. So when 14 DPO comes around and I’m wondering where my period is – it’s not coming! I will be relying on the pregnancy test and the blood test 17 DPO to tell me the truth.

And not that I’m being pessimistic or anything….but I’ve started planning for the next cycle. The next cycle being my first IVF cycle. I’ve signed up for the class I need to take, which actually occurs during the TWW, when I won’t even know if I’m pregnant or not, but no matter. And I’ve made an appointment in mid-September to meet with the doctor and get the ball rolling. I do not know at this point whether I’d need to wait another month after that appointment, since my period will have already come and mostly gone by then, and it might be too late to start shots, but we’ll see. Hopefully it will work out to begin in September, but I suppose I could say, what’s another month?

I am still a bit scared about IVF. However, I met with a nurse at some point last week, who took a look a my growing follie among the 40+ others hanging out in there, and she declared that I have “young, super-ovaries” and I “really should do IVF”. I agree! Everything looks good in there, and I know I’ll make lots of eggs. I just need to bite the bullet and do it. And I will.

But one step at a time.

Meanwhile, I will focus on school. Our meetings start up next week, and the kids come in the second half of my TWW. I spent all last week setting up the room, and it has taken my mind off of things. It’s looking good, too! Check out my new teaching blog here to see before and after pictures of my classroom. 🙂