Sick

This is going to sound like complaining, and I don’t want to give the wrong impression. But really, I guess I am complaining. There’s a big difference between complaining and wishing a pregnancy away. I’m not wishing anything away and I never would. Deep down I am truly thrilled to be pregnant but it’s very hard to concentrate on that now, with how I feel. I’m just simply saying:

I have never felt this sick in my life.

This is not occasional bouts of slight nausea that crackers can fix. This is round-the-clock, 24/7 extreme nausea that has knocked me off my feet and rendered me dysfunctional, and it hit all of a sudden last Wednesday night, at 5 and a half weeks.

And it is extremely frustrating. It’s a good thing it is the weekend and I’m on school vacation, because I never could go to work like this in a million years. Multiple times today I’ve just been rocking back and forth, nibbling on one Rice Krispie at a time. I can barely swallow them. I can’t sleep when I feel this bad. I’ve been 5 seconds from throwing up, but somehow I’ve held it off. I just know that throwing up once won’t do the trick. I’ll be on the bathroom floor all night. I can’t drive far, I can’t do any chores around the house. It’s like the worst stomach bug I’ve ever had (and I’ve had it plenty), but 24/7 for now the 4th day straight. And each day it’s worse, and I can’t imagine feeling any sicker and then I do.

I feel a little weird talking about this here, and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone. It is just the outlet I need when I want to talk about something, and right now, this is all I’ve got.

So, at 10:00 tonight, my husband called the nurse on call and she got me a prescription for Zofran. I am the last person to ask for drugs for anything, but I am absolutely desperate and will do anything to bring this nausea down a few levels. I have a feeling it will be getting worse. My amazing husband who has been at my beck and call all day and laid with me, pressing the “buttons” on my sea-bands (which don’t even touch this, by the way) is on his way to CVS now. I am very appreciative of his help but we both know this is going to get old real quick.

I know part of the problem at the moment is my empty stomach but I just can’t eat anything. Nothing wants to be in my mouth, including mints, crackers, and dry cereal. It’s bad. I do have other stomach problems and have all day, and I learned that my prenatal takes the nausea to a new level.

I don’t know anything about Zofran, except that it isn’t covered by insurance, but I am in need of a miracle. This just feels like the most unbearable thing, that I must say I’m too weak, both physically and mentally, to endure for 10 more weeks.

Advertisements

Blehhh

I just accidentally typed “morning suckness” in my tags, which is about right.

Up until last night, I have felt generally “yuck-tacular” with occasional bouts of starvation. Nothing major, and I was like, “Oh yeah, this is easy!” And then last night, just lying on the couch, I was suddenly two seconds from throwing up. It was the worst I had felt yet, and all night I tossed and turned. Woke up early this morning with other stomach issues (anything from nerves to actual sickness causes that one) and really couldn’t fall back asleep.

I dragged myself to school today, because there’s only a few days until vacation. But I am non-stop nauseous, at I’d say a moderate level. No food sounds appealing whatsoever, but I push food because I know I’m supposed to. I’ve tolerated oranges, some soup, dried cereal and a banana today. But I’m not even close to hungry or thirsty. I feel like I have a legit stomach bug on the way, and the only reason I know it’s not an illness is because I wouldn’t have been able to keep all that food down. I am noticing that evening and night are the worst. So far, mornings aren’t bad.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining because I’m not trying to, but I am desperately looking for suggestions to make it through this time period. I know it won’t all go away, but I don’t even feel functional, and I’m only 5 and a half weeks! Here is what I have tried so far (and continue to use)

– sea bands (just bought these an hour ago and they’ve been on for 15 minutes. I don’t know if I have them in the right spot exactly and I can’t tell if they are helping, though it isn’t any worse.) How do you know they are in the right spot?

– hard peppermint candies

– going to sleep (that’s a big fail)

– eating only things that sound good, which right now is nothing.

– peppermint tea

And that’s all I’ve got! So, are there any other things you guys have tried and had success with? As we speak my stomach is growling. Underneath all the nausea I think I’m actually hungry.

By the way, my beta #3 on Monday, which was 23dpo, was 3,026. And my doctor pushed my ultrasound up two weeks, to this Friday. He wanted to check me out before he went on vacation. So that will be exciting, if I can manage not to throw up on the doctor’s table.

Yuletide by the fireside – or something like that.

Well, Christmas has come and gone. I always feel like the preparation is so intense. As it gets closer to December 25th, the stores are even more packed and traffic is crazy; people get crazy. You do all the wrapping and cooking, Christmas music playing for 3 weeks straight. At least that’s what it’s like for me. Then it comes, and then it’s over. The next day you kind of don’t know what to do with yourself. Then again, my dining room table reminds me that there’s plenty to do:

Anyway, I had a very nice Christmas with my family, gave and received nice gifts, and did eat a lot. Although, Christmas Eve did not exactly go smoothly.

My husband loves to cook and bake – I never do unless I have to. I’m very lucky with that. So he was slaving over the kitchen on Christmas Eve from 7:30am until about 1:30pm. He made a flourless chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and raspberry sauce, a seafood dip with french bread “chips”, and a sweet potato casserole. I was having the weirdest morning, while all this cooking was going on. I felt exhausted. So much so that I took two little naps, and just generally laid around. I wasn’t that hungry, either. I skipped my kick-boxing class, which I had originally really wanted to go to. I don’t know what the deal was.

Also, I was still recovering from my massive bout of lip hives from the night before. I did take a picture, which I will not be sharing. This was one of the worst bouts I’ve had of it – when I woke up in the morning I had trouble speaking and eating because my lips were so huge. My entire face was swollen, including my eyes. Good times.

By the afternoon the swelling had gone down enough for me to leave the house. We left for my aunt’s around 2:00. Not ten minutes into the ride, we took a sharp turn, and the seafood dip, which was on the floor of the backseat, had tipped and spilled everywhere. We pulled over, I got out – and burst into tears. What? That is not usually me. But I did – I started hysterically crying, and also got really angry. I wanted to take the entire glass dish and throw it and hear it smash. Instead, I grabbed handfuls of seafood dip and threw it into the woods. Finally, we got back into the car and kept driving, with the windows open because the car smelled like fish. My hands reeked and my makeup was runny. Merry Christmas! I have NO idea why I acted like that. I’ve been saying I felt badly that my husband did so much cooking and then it was ruined, so quickly. That was part of it, but otherwise – I have no clue. I thought this was as bad as my Christmas Eve was going to get.

We got to my aunt’s house and everything was fine. I ate a few little gluten-free appetizers, talked, etc. Drank water. Around dinner, the smells in the kitchen started making me nauseous. Like, can’t-be-around-food nauseous. The meal was put out – I did something I’ve never done at a family function – I laid down on the couch and missed the whole meal. I started feeling a lump in my throat (geez, this makes me sound/feel so paranoid!) I’ve had a hive in my throat before – it’s kind of scary. You start to panic that your throat might close up. I used to have an Epi-pen, but it expired and was thrown away, thus causing my panic even more. So between my nausea and lump in my throat I was a mess. I felt the anxiety start to creep up on me  – what if my throat really did close, and I had to go to the hospital? Long story short, about two hours later I drank some hot tea and it worked wonders – calmed me down, lessened the throat lump, increased my appetite. I had my dinner around 9:00; never touched dessert. I was fine the last few hours. Went to bed – besides the hives on my back and arms yesterday morning (nothing compared to when they are on my face), I was fine all yesterday.

So it was not my favorite Christmas for all of those reasons, and these. 1) I don’t like hives. 2) I don’t like anxiety, and 3) I especially don’t like when it tries to take control over my brain, which I’m usually so good about keeping level-headed. Ugh.

For those of you without babies on this Christmas, I don’t know if you’d agree, but there’s almost a sense of relief that this holiday is over. Time to get back to work on expanding the family. Those doctor’s offices should open up again, and you can look towards January with positivity – 2012 is a new year; it’s going to be a good one.

Clomid starts tomorrow.

 

By the way – did anyone have any funny/not so funny Christmas stories they’d like to share? Anyone’s food tip over in the car?