31.5 weeks

My last post was a bit of a downer. There are good days and bad days when you’re waiting to go into labor anytime over the course of many weeks. I can take the mental ups and downs – it’s the physical changes and threats of preterm labor that get to me. Anyway, today is a better day mostly, with only a couple scattered contractions. The rib pain is all Goat – I feel body parts swimming under my ribs. I spend a decent amount of my day pressing back in hopes that she will move. But with Bug in there too, and my stomach being what I would call really small for twins, I don’t believe that little girl is going anywhere. I’ve now gained about 31 pounds, and I’m 31 weeks. Here’s my gut:

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But my newest ailment is this rash – what the heck?? It started on the tops of my hands, and 3 or 4 days later has spread to my arms, tops of feet, knee caps, and a few other places. The little red bumps have started on my stomach but don’t itch yet. Not to be gross, but this is the back of my arm:

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It doesn’t look really bad but it does itch. My hands itch the most. I called the ob today and I was told that it doesn’t sound pregnancy related so I need to see my primary care physician. First of all, I can’t imagine how it’s NOT pregnancy related. I’ve been on this couch since the end of April. Where would it come from? Also, it’s been so long since I saw my primary care, she’s not even there anymore. The past few years, I’ve needed specialists – for infertility, my thyroid, and my autoimmune hives (no, nothing at all like this itchy rash). I’ve not needed primary care. Anyway, I did call and I am still in their system so I’ll be going this afternoon. Going out into the world is a big deal – I walk like a 95 year old and have contractions in the car. So if I’m told its just eczema – well, that’s irritating because that’s what I think it is. Then again, I’d be glad it wasn’t anything more serious. I’m just wondering what else this pregnancy has in store for me!

Last night my husband and I discussed the fact that though I’d be physically more comfortable after giving birth (well, after recovery), it’s not something we wish for. Right now, these babies are tucked in like sardines and are safe. Once they are out… they’re out. I’ll be empty and no longer their protector. And for whatever reason, that is a scary thought. Especially at this gestation.

I’m still worried about my lack of preparation. Not only do I know nothing about giving birth or breastfeeding, but we have very little clothing for the babies, very few diapers for newborns, and a nursery that currently is painted and that’s it. This is partially due to not having a shower because of bed rest. We still have to order carpet and then all the furniture is either not bought yet (the dresser) or in the garage in boxes. We are not at all ready for this. I know that if they were born now, they’d be in the NICU but if it all goes well, they could come home anytime between 35-38 weeks. And that’s not far away. This whole pregnancy has gone backwards! But the ultimate goal is healthy babies and my hopes for that are high. I may need to buy some clothes, though.

So that’s where I’m at today. I really, really want to make it to Monday. The number 32 sounds so much better than 31.

Even after being skunked, my puppies are still cute, even though Riley’s head still smells.

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Riley’s little tongue sticks out when she naps.

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Sadie knows exactly how to pose to get whatever it is that she wants.

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