Meltdown.

Today was just one of those absolutely mentally exhausting days.

But it’s not as if every day is all sunshine and rainbows and then today hit like a supercell thunderstorm – no, the babies must be in a wonder month week or something because it’s been a nice gradual buildup to insanity. Right now it mostly resides with B. He’s SO unbelievably fussy. And by fussy, I mean angry. There’s nothing that he wants, or if there is, I can’t figure it out (other than the remote, my cell phone, the dog bone, his sister’s face, anything he can’t have). He is no longer content to sit. I knew this day would come, as both babies sat for months all nicely and whatnot, but now that they both want to crawl, they don’t want to sit. But they can’t crawl, not yet. And so for B – he’s just so frustrated with his little life. He doesn’t want to be held, but he doesn’t want to sit, practice tummy time, stand, jump – honestly, there’s no telling what he wants. If his sister has a toy he wants and he can’t get it, he smacks his sister in the face repeatedly. (What’s with that??) And every day, I try to get the babies out of the house or do something different, just to appease him and change up the day.

Today just wasn’t one of those days. After he woke up from his second nap (albeit a little early) he did nothing but scream for the next hour, at least. Finally I just decided to feed him early to calm him down, but he was still in hysterics while chugging his milk through his straw cup, subsequently choking, gasping, and projectile spitting it all over himself and me. C decided to join the scream fest when I ripped her out of her crib and ran down the stairs without giving her time to kind of adjust post-nap, because I had to return to the screaming child. And then, giving her no attention, I plunked her down to sit for a while as I worked on B and finally, she had enough of being forgotten. Cue tears. Sad, crocodile tears. I imagine she was wailing, “You forgot meeeeeeee”. I didn’t. I kept thanking her for being so patient and swore it would be her turn soon but for some reason, I don’t think she understood.

I say this must be a wonder week because both of them cry in hysterics multiple times a day. More B than C – he is guaranteed a massive meltdown every single time I 1) change his diaper, 2) put him in the stroller, 3) put him in the high chair, 4) put on his PJs, and 5) put him down for a nap. Let’s say on a daily basis he goes through around 5-7 diapers, 2 walks in the stroller, 3 times in the high chair, plus one PJ routine and two naps. So that’s – 13-15 meltdowns a DAY for Mr. B. The pattern here is laying him down flat and restraining him with straps. Nope, he does not like those things. Thankfully, C is less meltdown-prone but she tends to fuss more often.

And it’s days like these that kind of, sort of, make me want to go back to work. It’s not that I don’t WANT to be with my children (cue guilt for even having to write that), and it’s not like I’m DYING to be at my job (no offense, colleagues) – but going to work would force me out of the drabness that surrounds a stay-at-home parent. And we do get out of the house every day, even if for just a walk. But one hour away and at a playgroup doesn’t change the fact that I’m, by myself, taking care of two babies for around 10 hours a day. That one hour of socialization (or half hour, at the library sing-along), doesn’t change the fact that when we get home, I’m back on super-duty. It’s just so exhausting – starting from 6:00 am when we are all up until they go to bed at 7:00 pm. So going to work would allow me to step out of that realm for most of my day. But see – that’s also the downside of going to work. I don’t WANT to be away from the babies, I just want some breaks in my day.

I give major props to the stay-at-home-parent who is permanently in that position. Do you ever change out of sweatpants? Put on makeup? Work on yourself when you’re staying at home? I can’t seem to do it – we have started a little short jog with the jogging stroller in the mornings, so that’s good for me I guess. I don’t particularly FIT into my old, nicer clothes, so yes, I’ve been in sweatpants for let’s see – oh, about a year and a half.

So it’s a challenge. Today, I didn’t really feel like the parent as much as the nanny – just passing the hours. And that’s sad. Here’s hoping to tomorrow being a better day.

On a happier note, I’m finally planning the babies’ first birthday party and I’m excited about it. There’s absolutely no NEED to have anything lavish, or a theme, or much more than a mid-summer BBQ. However, being at home has allowed me to tap into my creative side and I have thoroughly enjoyed finding a theme. Thank you, Pinterest and Etsy – for exposing me to the vintage ice cream shoppe idea. I am on a mission to do this on a budget, so we’ll see how “vintage” I get, but it’s a big day that’s coming up in only 2 short months. Yikes.

I also received a new camera lens and wow, what a difference. Taking a picture now lets the subject really stand out and pop, as it blurs out the background. Do nannies take pictures for you while you go to work??

DSC_0511

 

DSC_0625

 

DSC_0717

C sees the camera come out and it’s instant smiles and holding poses. Much appreciated. B – not so much. It’s song and dance time until he smiles, or at least looks your way.

DSC_0280 2

 

DSC_0616

 

DSC_0733

 

And a few together, because I can’t resist.

DSC_0232

 

DSC_0484

 

 

Are they teeth yet?

Phew. I’m glad this week is over.

I’m of the belief that some people tend to exaggerate experiences that have happened to them or their children because what they’re really looking for is some comradery – for someone else to validate what’s happened to them. By stretching the truth just a hair, it extends the experience so that odds are, more people can relate to it.  And that makes them feel better.  And sometimes, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have no doubt I’ve done it myself.

But when it comes to babies, especially for new moms, I think we’re all so confused – it’s all such a shot in the dark. When we pass on an experience we’ve had, it might seem like the craziest thing ever, but experienced moms won’t even bat an eye. That’s why, when I read baby forums for advice on [name your baby ailment] I deep-read each word, while at the same time taking it all in with a boulder of salt.

Where am I going with this? Oh, teething. Teething is this foreign concept to me as a first time mom. I assumed a baby would be “teething” when there were – you know, teeth. Some moms claim their babies had a terrible fever for days, crazy diarrhea, they needed many different toys and gadgets and jewelry and potions to get the poor babies through it. Other moms (like my own) said teeth just came in with a whole bunch of drool and that was that.

Because I’ve never done this before, I don’t know what to expect.

But I have a hunch that what I’m experiencing with my twins would fall under the category of “teething”. Fussiness may or may not be related to teething, but this past week, there was plenty of that to go around. I still can’t determine the cause. Mr. B, Mr. “easy baby” spent his week grouchy 90% of the time. There was less laughter, less smiling, more fits thrown. Yes, I didn’t know a 7 month old could throw a fit, but when he wasn’t placed in the position he wanted to be in, he threw back his head and screamed, but it was an angry cry without tears. (BTW – both babies scream bloody murder when I change their diapers all of a sudden – what’s with that?) I, of course, moved him around right away because I want a happy baby. Most of the time this past week, his preferred position was sitting, which he has all of a sudden learned how to do and do well.

IMG_3465He loves him some Sadie puppy.

 

But in addition to his new trick, he has been trying to bite my shoulder. And washcloths. And he sticks his finger in his mouth and shakes his head really quickly, so the finger will run along his gums. That seems like teething to me. Unfortunately, there’s no white specks under the gums and not enough drool to even warrant a bib – so I’m afraid we’re not there yet. I wish this would happen soon, because he is a miserable little man!

He also suddenly has the worst diaper rash I’ve ever seen. I’ll spare you the picture (of course I took one, to consult the interwebs) but it’s very dark red. So then Dr. Google said that perhaps it could be acidic teething poop.

Adding to the list for B, he’s trying to flip over in his crib and gets stuck about halfway there, on his side. That’s when he realizes his lovey has escaped from his hands and he sees it, but it’s not within reach. So he stretches and screams…and can’t get ahold of it. This little guy is not happy.

IMG_3504

Blah, Mom.

So what am I doing about it? I’m sort of just going with it – his nighttime sleep isn’t affected yet, which is another reason I’m thinking those teeth aren’t ready to show up yet. So nighttime Tylenol isn’t needed. But during the day, I give both babies Sophie the giraffe to chew on, wet washcloths, and the mesh feeders filled with ice. B just sucks up the water.

And other than that, I’m not sure what I can do, besides give some extra snuggles. His naps have been TERRIBLE (25 minutes long every 3 hours) and he just wants to hang out on my shoulder, which I can’t complain about, even though he’s a really heavy 23 pounds.

IMG_3431

Lil C has some of those same “teething” characteristics, but she’s been MUCH more pleasant than B. She still takes good naps and she smiles and squeals constantly. She knows when I take out my camera and say “cheese” that I want her to be still and smile – she’s great for the camera. She is also practicing her sitting, and is getting much better. Though nothing is sadder than a baby who is learning to sit who then falls backwards – that moment of fear on their face! So sad!

IMG_3475

So this is how you sit! As long as she can reach her toes, she’s happy. She also has suddenly developed a fascination in our adult foods. B still doesn’t seem to care, but she’s eyeing that sandwich and wondering where her bite is.

IMG_3423

 

She’s hoping for some cereal crumbs. We started trying little bits of banana – she can’t get it into her mouth herself, but when we help out, she seems to really enjoy the change from purees.

Mommy’s still going a bit stir crazy – it’s this WEATHER. This cold air has been going on for MONTHS. I just want warm air and a pack n play in the front yard. So I joined a gym, ran/walked a bit, and tomorrow I may even take the babies to (gasp) Costco. In the stroller. Hey, I need formula.

Here are a few other pics to round out our week:

IMG_3502There was some double mesh feeder action going on.

IMG_3511A little wrestling..

IMG_3530Some kitchen utensil fun, babies-were-fussy-and-Mom-needed-creativity (Mom, this spoon sucks..)

IMG_3494A little lot of grumping,

IMG_3553And some time upstairs.

I’m hoping this week brings a happier boy, less diaper rash, and maybe a tooth or two.

 

 

And….sleep.

With my twins, I try to keep to a schedule. More on that in another post – but as they get older, the schedule obviously changes and I find myself trying to keep up with those changes.

My goals in creating a schedule all contribute to achieving my ultimate desire, other than their well-being, which is for my babies to sleep through the night, so I can sleep. 🙂

Anyway, sometimes I need to get out of the house, which inadvertently seems to mess up our schedule, but it’s really worth it. We did that today, and tonight.

Today was the first day that my babies took a nap somewhere other than their crib or carseat since we ditched the rock n plays. Not only that, but they slept TOGETHER in the pack n play. I had visions of screaming children and mass confusion as they realized they were in the same tiny living space for the first time since being in my belly. Then I imagined them laughing and smacking each other in the face and tossing their loveys around. But nevertheless, we set up the white noise, drew the black out curtains, and tiptoed out.

Not a peep. 5 minutes later, my husband went to check on them – fast asleep. It was SO adorable seeing them in that tiny space together – it’s the first time we’ve ever had them sleep together. Alas – I didn’t get a picture. But we’re doing it again tomorrow and I will this time! Melted my icy heart.

Of course, we stayed up past their bedtime, which led to them falling asleep in the car on the way home, which could’ve spelled disaster as we quickly tried to get them to bed. Skipping their baths, we went right to PJs and a bottle in the dark. Surprisingly, B went right to sleep. C – well, during her bedtime bottle, she pooped, so I had to change her diaper. While I was doing so, she pooped again. Then she spit up something fierce, so I had to change her PJs. Then she was laughing like it was morning instead of bedtime.

An hour and a half later than last night’s bedtime – but she went right to sleep. It’s not always this easy, but when it is, I’ll absolutely take it.

Now, for your quick reading pleasure – this was linked on facebook and I just think it’s SO absolutely cute, though it’s from 2012. I need to buy these little dolls and their accessories and teach my twins how to be loving nurturers in a few years. I can’t wait. Such a cute story!

Small Potatoes – William’s Doll