“I’m thankful for…”

Today is a perfect day to write my first Thankful Thursday post. It’s not because I’m having the best day and am generally feeling optimistic, with rainbows and butterflies. No, it’s because I’m the exact opposite. Blame it on the Clomid?

I can think of 10 negative thoughts at this moment. At least. But since this is a Thankful Thursday post, I’m forced into being positive. It’s probably a good thing I’m doing this, because I have to dig a bit deep to find some material here.

Here we go. (I feel like I’m sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table.) “I’m thankful for…”

My family, each for different reasons. My mother lets me dump all my thoughts, good or bad, and helps me sort them out logically. My sister is 7 years younger than I am, so she brings out a younger side of me. I like feeling like a teenager again when I’m with her. She’s my exact opposite, but clearly my sister, and I’m lucky to have her. My father is supportive, and also knows everything going on with my fertility. My husband is funny and sweet, and holds on tight to me in the kitchen when I thrash around to get my cranky energy out. I obviously have many more family members, but I’ll save them for another Thursday.

Hmm. Well, tomorrow’s Friday, right? There’s always that. I’m seeing some old work colleagues tomorrow afternoon and I’m excited about that.

As much as I complain about it, I’m thankful for my house. We bought it from my mother a few years ago, and it’s my childhood home. My old bedroom upstairs was virtually untouched and I like that.

I got a new “Real Simple” magazine in the mail! (I can’t figure out how to italicize on my phone.)

Okay, that’ll be all. CD 8, with one more Clomid pill tomorrow. Happy Friday!

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Monday Mind Dump, Round 2

It’s Monday again. While I’m really not a fan of Mondays, it does mean I get to try out the “Monday Mind Dump” once again. I borrowed the idea from Rachel on her blog, and after trying it for the first time last week, I received a lot of positive responses.

If you’re thinking of trying out Monday Mind Dump on your blog, you just let the thoughts flow. They do not need to be IF-related; in fact, it’s nice to take a break from that topic once in a while. Here’s what’s been on my mind today:

1) I had a dream last night that really spoke to who I feel I’ve been as a person lately. In the dream, a friend of mine had a baby, a girl, and because I was so wrapped up in my own IF issues, I completely missed the birth. I realized weeks later that not only did I miss it, but I never tried to find out her name or say “Congratulations”. And I felt really, horribly guilty. I woke up with this thought – “It’s not all about me.” Sometimes in this jungle of IF stuff, I think you can get yourself lost. Who were you, before you started TTC? What did your friends like about you as a person? Are you keeping your old values and goals close by, or have they been replaced? Today I feel as if I want/need to be there for my friends. I’m excited for all the steps through life they have taken, or will take, including getting married, buying homes, and having kids. Whether or not I’ve shown this caring side of myself to my friends in the last six months – well, that’s to be debated, but I wouldn’t argue if they said I hadn’t. There are many dreams in life people strive for, and I happen to be reaching towards one right now. But so are my friends. And I need to make sure I’m around to put my own life aside, and be supportive to other people. I’ve always been bad about calling/texting/making plans with other people, including those I care about. So it’s an ongoing goal to reach out more and make those connections.

2) A friend of mine gave me the book The Hunger Games today. I’ve heard nothing but good things, but I have no idea what it’s about. I’m super-excited to give it a read. Anyone out there read it? Don’t tell me too much, but what did you think of it?

3) My teacher brain is on. There are a lot of teachers out there who are reading this blog. Some of you, I’m sure, are better than others at turning off your brain once you get home. I could use a few words of advice on how to do that. As is, I came home, excited to write this post, but the things that were immediately on my brain were all teaching-related. Not because I’m dying to continue thinking about my long day, but because I can’t shut my brain off. My kids really did  not do well on that math test today. Where should I keep the money they are raising in the fundraiser? What am I teaching in science tomorrow? It’s an endless stream  of thoughts – the ultimate Monday Mind Dump. Unfortunately, they are not interesting thoughts.  They’re boring; slightly high-strung. When I get home, I want to stop thinking about school. Any suggestions?

4) CD 5, and the first Clomid pill is down the hatch. Here we go, Round 2. I have high hopes, and I’ll try not to let myself fall too hard if it doesn’t happen. 50 mg worked last time, at least with ovulation. I just hope I catch ovulation, because I’m wondering if it might happen on a completely different day. Last cycle it was CD 24, very late.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’ll be back Thursday, for my first ever Thankful Thursday, courtesy of Belle‘s blog. Have a good week everyone!