In Limbo

It has been a long few days. Lil C started to show symptoms of a cold, with sneezing, a runny nose, etc. But those same symptoms seemed to be exaggerated when we went outside, with one of her eyes just dripping clear tears, a clear drip from her nose, and both of those things being super itchy. She seemed to be suffering from seasonal allergies. To top it off, when she lays down flat, she has a nasty cough that causes her to wake up and cry. So tonight being night #3, she is waking up coughing about every 30-45 minutes. I go upstairs and pick her up, she falls asleep on my shoulder, I wait a few minutes, put her back down. Repeat.

The first night, I stayed up from 2:30-5:00 and just held her in the rocking chair while she slept upright. We tried propping the mattress but she kept trying to sit up and in doing so would roll down the little hill. Besides, it’s really not enough of a prop to do anything. Then last night we brought her downstairs and set up a pack n play in our bedroom where she slept on and off again, though not as bad as the night before. And now tonight, she’s been down for almost 2 hours and I’ll be going up for the 4th time. Poor baby. But I’m exhausted. (My husband is going up for this one now, thankfully and we do switch on and off.) I’m not sure what else to do for her. I’ll call the doctor next week if it continues, but during the day she eats and acts normally, save for the dripping eye and itchy nose. It’s sleeping that’s the issue.

The interwebs tell me that seasonal allergies don’t usually affect babies, as they need at least 2 seasons of exposure for it to take effect. So…are we doomed for C to have a lifetime of terrible allergies if they are showing up this early? Is this normal? Do they last the entire spring? I have no idea.

It feels like parenting these 9.5 month old twins has been more exhausting lately for other reasons too. As I’ve talked about before, B and C are a bit “behind” their peers with physical development. The doctor wasn’t concerned, and I know it’ll happen eventually, but they don’t do what most other babies their age (or younger) do. They don’t crawl, they don’t roll around, they don’t pull up on furniture. They still act like 5 or 6 month old babies who need to be carried or placed into a sitting position, but they’re very large and very heavy. B is definitely past 25 pounds and C is probably around 22 pounds herself. Everyone always says that I shouldn’t rush crawling or walking. Why they say this, I’m not sure. To hold onto the newborn baby stage? But really – I welcome it. When they can move around, sure I have to keep a very close eye on them and all of that, but right now they WANT to move around and can’t, making them frustrated and me tired. With all of these physical things they can’t do yet, they are making strides for sure, both of them. B absolutely loves to stand while I hold his hands. In fact, when doing this, he takes steps, walking all around our house. He started taking one or two steps like this many months ago, around 4 or 5 months old. But now he practically runs, shrieking with delight. Of course, I have to do it with him. I know it’s not aiding in his ability to walk, but he just loves it so much – it’s a guarantee to make him happy. And C, she has become a little more mobile with her body as well. When in the sitting position, she will lean way forward, balancing on her ankles, until she falls forward completely onto her stomach. As long as she isn’t smashing her face into something, she’s content enough for a few minutes in that position. And she’s just recently started jumping – like in the jumperoo or when you hold her in a standing position. For the longest time, she had no interest in bouncing and now she does. For her, these things are huge.

What it all amounts to is that neither of them want to SIT anymore – but they can’t do anything else. C wants to crawl, B wants to stand and run – but while my husband is at work, I’m only one person and I can’t easily hold them both for more than a few minutes. So they’re frustrated, like I said. And I’m tired. I look forward to the crawling and walking stage, so that they can achieve the independence they are wanting so badly but can’t yet attain.

And have I mentioned that they don’t NAP? Well, C does. She takes 2 one hour-ish naps. But B takes two 35-40 minute naps. That’s it. How many chores and tasks can I get done in two 35-40 minute periods a day? Not many. I get the babies’ things done, maybe a shower for myself, and that’s all I have time for, leaving so many chores for late at night. I remember the good old days of two hour naps…

I’ve talked about baby sign language before and mistakenly thought they might be starting to sign back. Not yet. I still only do “eat”, “more” and “all done”, and I do believe they sort of know what these things mean, but they don’t do them back. They also don’t clap, wave, or anything else of the like with their hands yet. As soon as they do, I know that’s about the time they could sign back. I look forward to that, too.

And then lastly, the food and drink issue. With food, I’m trying to introduce finger foods. B has 6 teeth that all came in in a month’s time. C still has none but she has very hard gums. I’m kind of terrified of choking, so I’m trying to start with mushy finger foods first before going to those Gerber puffs or anything like that. I know they dissolve, but still. So I have done tiny pieces of banana (dipped into oatmeal cereal for a hard coating, easier to pick up), avocado, and today, potato. They like all 3 of these things except 1) They, for the most part, can’t feed themselves. Only ONCE did I catch both of them on the same day pick up food and bring it to their mouths. Not since a few days ago. So I feed them one piece at a time, while encouraging them to do it themselves. And 2) they LOVE their purees. B screams bloody murder if I don’t get his solids into his gullet fast enough (yes, this is after he just consumed 8 ounces of milk less than an hour ago), and finger foods won’t do for just this reason. Too slow. When I feed him purees, even thicker with lentils and that sort of thing, I can’t get the spoon into the bowl as quick as he wants. His mouth is wide open, baby bird style, when that spoon comes around again. Luckily C is a slow eater. But she too likes her purees. I’m getting a little tired of making them the same pureed foods – lentils, sweet potato, avocado, pears, apples, peaches, carrots, blueberries, green beans – and would like to start introducing them to the rest of the food that exists out there. But I can’t see pureeing it all. They should be able to eat chunks now, right? So I’m just not sure where to go from here.

With the bottle – I’ve tried a variety of sippy cups and have found the straw cups to be…what I’m hoping to get the babies to use, for multiple reasons. They have each successfully taken a few sips of milk out of them. And water. But they just aren’t interested. The same with normal sippy cups as well – we tried those too. They just don’t care. They play with them, which is fine, but they don’t drink. Besides, they have never held their own bottles, and so far, they aren’t holding their own cups. I’m not really interested in introducing juice, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what to do to get them to transition. I’ve tried pouring half their bottle into the cup, but B screamed when (again) he couldn’t get to his milk fast enough.

I don’t know. I am personally ready for the next step in their little baby lives. I do miss the smallness of a newborn, and the way a tiny 8 pounder curls up on your chest. But really, that’s about it! I really enjoy them more and more every day. They reach to be picked up now, they tuck their heads into my shoulder on purpose. They give kisses, they giggle and laugh. They’re little people. This is why I’m tired of them being in limbo – I want to get on with the movement, the eating, the drinking. But I’m just not sure how to get there or what to do next. Will these things just happen on their own? I don’t know.

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These are C’s new “sad lips” – when she wants to cry but really isn’t all that upset. So cute.

And this is the face B makes when he holds onto a toy and gets excited. He squeezes his fists and shakes his whole body.

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And more kisses:

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